That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger

You all clearly gained many benefits from being in the program. Perhaps you even understand my title a little bit better than you did before you started. You faced many tough challenges and I am impressed with all that you took from them. You stretched yourselves beyond your comfort zones and I'm not talking about sitting mountain. You learned how to plan and organize six weeks of activities to keep a demanding group challenged and engaged. You learned to set limits, settle disputes, maintain a raucous crowd, communicate effectively with both your campers and your fellow mentors. Most importantly you built enduring attachments to your campers. You battled hardened glue and even a somewhat hardened teacher, who due to Zach's timely apology softened to the point where she actually expressed interest in our program. Thank you Zach!

I know this has not been an easy time, but it is clear that you have all grown and learned and best of all it didn't kill you!
Cathy

Time Spent and Lessons Learned

Taken as a whole I would have to rate working as a mentor at this camp as one of the most fun and frustrating summer jobs all mixed into one and I would not trade this experience for the world. This camp has not only provided me with some new and lasting friendships with the fellow mentors and hopefully the children but has also taught me many things about myself. While I was extremely excited to work at this camp I did have some doubts about my own personal abilities to work with this certain group of kids. I am now happy to report that these few doubts have been successfully proved wrong. First of all I had some worries about working with kids of this specific age group. In the past I have always worked with kids much younger and even my own mother was a little apprehensive about my ability to successfully relate to these children. However I have learned that while many times it is much more difficult to work with older children the relationships that are formed are that much more rewarding.

Another thing that I was particularly worried about was my ability to discipline these children. While I may be a loud and outgoing person I also have a tendency to avoid confrontation and do not enjoy reprimanding others whatsoever. In addition I try to keep everyone happy and tend not to yell at others for fear that they may dislike me for it later. This camp has shown me that in fact I am able to discipline others but also that they will not think less of me for it. It is quite the contrary, it seems that they will respect you and look up to you more for it. I feel that this lesson has had the greatest impact on my personality and will definitely help me stand up for myself and realize that just because you are speaking your mind or regulating others there is no need to fear being disliked. 

On a last note this experience has definitely enforced the old saying "don't judge a book by it's cover". While at first glance some of the kids just seemed like absolute tornados of destruction and misbehavior but once you uncover the true source of the problem a whole other light of understanding is shed on the situation. People really do in fact wear "masks" in order to cover their true feelings and with a little work and perseverance you can get to know the real person underneath. Overall I am so grateful for this experience and had an absolutely amazing time this summer. 

...Benefits....

I would say [hands down] I had a super amazing Summer and I wouldn't change my experience for the world. This Summer was full of various eventful memories with the campers that at times brought smiles and laughter and at other times frustration and impatience. 

By the end of camp I became really attached to the campers and was sad to see them leave. I learned a lot during this Summer, and these young children taught me a lot about myself as well. They made me laugh, they gave me memorable stories to share with my roommates, and at times I went home concerned about their circumstances at at home. This camp has helped me realize that working with children from "at-risk" backgrounds is what I really want to do in life. 

They tested my patience, they tested my authority, they even tested my athletic ability when they challenged me to a race!...But most of all they tested my willingness to be there for them when they needed an adult to talk to and open up about their feelings. This camp meant a lot to me because my childhood was very similar to what many of these campers are going through. As we learned in training, sometimes our negative experiences in life can become a vicious cycle as we reenact them in our lives as grown ups, not intentionally, but because its the only way we learned to do things... I always told myself I would never continue that cycle because I wanted things to be different. This camp helped me realize how much of an impact one can be for these young children. As oppositional as these campers were at times, they still look up to us even though they might openly deny it. It made me strive to be there for them even more because, as i've said before... it only takes one person to make that difference...and we happened to have nine...so the impact could be even greater!

This camp gave me a lot of useful skills that I can benefit from even out of camp. I've worked with children for several years now...but for the most part it was one-on-one work...Working with our 26 campers taught me crucial skills on managing a large group of children, dealing with conflict/resolution issues, learning how to spread out my attention so that no child feels ignored, being able to cater the lesson plan to suit every individual child's special needs, and the fact that working with children isn't a 9-5 job. You grow to care about this kids in a very special way...so much that I would go home sometimes and be wondering what the kids were doing at the moment, planning what I would want to do with them the next day, wondering how I could get Tessa to participate in the activities since she refused to do so the day before, and at times being at the store and seeing an item that reminded me of my kids and bring a smile to face. 

I plan on keeping in touch with my girls [atleast before i leave the country! lol]. I want to continue watering the friendship that we started over camp and hopefully see them blossom into the young beautiful ladies that I know they will become. Thank you Cathy and Lisa for this opportunity to work with this young and talent children. They brought so much into my life and I will forever keep the memories I shared with them over the last six weeks.

What will be will be

Well, there are a few things that I took from this program. First, I learned about the importance of being able to dedicate at least a little portion of time to someone, especially since these kids can barely get the amount of attention that just comes naturally in my family. There were also a few times where I would talk to Hunter, Seb, and a few others when they seemed to be having a rough day. But the fact I took a little time to stop and devote to them really made a difference in the moment or showed fruits later on in their behavior. Another thing I learned from this program is how to deal with people I work with a  more positive manner, because most jobs I have had did not require me to work as closely with 9 other people directly everyday. All of these mentors proved to be very cool and easy going people, so there did not seem to be any negative energy between anyone. A third thing that I believe is very important that I learned over the course of this program is how to care about someone and not bring the stress from the job back home, all the time. There are a few kids that seemed to have grown on me over the summer and there were things that they either said, did, or talked about doing that would get me concerned for them, but in the end I had to leave some of this stuff at work so that I could come home and be able to go to work refreshed and ready to do it all over again the next day. It is hard to work with children and not eventually care about their well being and future, but I know that what will be will be and if I can help effect them positively then I at least did one thing my life. 

Benefits

First of all, I had a such great time working with all the campers and mentors this summer! It was such a great experience to learn about each individual kid and realize how much they are dealing with at home.  Their emotions and actions during camp definitely represent some of the things that they might be dealing with at home.  However deep down, these kids are so sweet and are using their strong attitudes as a way to cover up the wounds inside.  I have learned that I am so grateful of having such a good support system.  These kids have so much potential if they had the constant support system behind them.  

My patience for kids has definitely changed a great deal.  Even though I have worked with kids in the past, these campers definitely tested my patience everyday.  However as camp went along, I learned that kids love to test your patience.  You can't get angry cause that will never solve anything.  In addition, being able to actively listen to these kids definitely helped a lot as well.  Some of these kids just need someone to listen to them.  They aren't able to have that at home, which is why they sometimes just want to talk about the issues that are occurring at camp, but it also sometimes leads to other issues they might have with themselves or at home.  

Just being able to be a part of these kids' lives and making somewhat of an impact is a fulfilling feeling.  I loved watching these kids come to camp with such a great smile and excitement.  Just being able to see these kids have a great time and seeing them smile and laugh were the greatest benefits.  Hearing Jonanthan say that he was going to miss us was such a great feeling and knowing that he wanted us to be there and keep camp going made me realize how wonderful these kids really are.  They just needed an outlet to be themselves and camp was that to them.  

This was a great experience and I learned so much from each individual camper.  They are so different in many ways, which made camp so interesting everyday!

Benefits

I feel like there are so many benefits to this job, that I'm almost at a loss for where to start.  Most of the what I gained from the experience had to do with things that I picked up about myself that I might not have discovered otherwise.  I was amazed to find my patience tested further than it ever had been at times, and I was pleased to find that when I needed to maintain composure I was able to exercise it.  At times it was extremely difficult not to look at one of the kids who had been making some kind of cruel remark to another camper and cut him down a peg with my own two cents.  I was very relieved to know that when necessary, however, I wouldn't let the kids down by stooping to that level.  Rather I could draw up the patience and maturity to do the right thing and count the offending camper.  I was also really happy to work on active listening.  I wasn't sure how well I would do with it, and I'm sure I was pretty rusty at first, but by the end of camp I felt like the kids  seemed more comfortable opening up, which I took as a good sign.  A benefit that doesn't relate directly to the kids so much would be having the opportunity to work with eight other students that I really had not met prior to this summer.  It was great to work on a team comprised of people with diverse interests and see everyone come together for the kids.  Overall, I'd say that knowing the kids had a good time, made some friends, and improved behavior and social skills is a huge benefit, because I can feel a great deal of satisfaction knowing that I helped make that possible.

I have benefited greatly from working with the talented students of Manheim.  Over the past 6 weeks I have had to deal with an assortment of situations.  My experience at camp has made me a stronger and more confident person.  I am somewhat of a shy person, and camp definitely helped me become more vocal.  I was able to get in front of a large group and assert myself.  

Working with the children also has made me a better person.  It easy to get along with people that are like you, but when you have to deal with all types of people it can be a challenge.  All the kids are different, thus I learned how to deal with all kinds of people.  I wasn't able to handle every kid them same.  Each of them needed specific needs to be fulfilled.  

  Also, I plan on becoming a teacher after I graduate from F&M.  This program was great experience, as it taught me how to manage a large group of kids.  Although the program was not specifically focused on academics, I definitely learned different ways to teach children.  There is no doubt in my mind that I will carry my experiences in camp into the real world when I hopefully become a teacher.  

I believe that kids have taught me a thing or two as well.  The kids have such a positive outlook on life, even-though their lives may be tough.  They have taught me to keep a positive attitude even when things are not going good.  I consider these kids to be my friends, and really do look forward to keeping in contact with them in the future.  

Finally,  I enjoyed working with the 8 other mentors, and believe I have learned from them.  Each mentor brought something different to the table, and I was able to learn from them.

Zach

Excuse Me, I'm In Industry

This past summer has been a very unique and beneficial experience. I have gained a real insight into the guidance counselor career path, as these are the types of children who I would interact with most of the time. The camp itself, as well as the three weeks of training, feed into this. Aside from the specific, working and also make friends with a group of people I had never met is a crucial ability to be honed at this point in our lives. In addition to this, all of us have improved in our teamwork and our cohesiveness with others. We support our coworkers and know how to ask for support when we need it. We have all improved in our ability to create an effective schedule and implementing it. More importantly, we have learned that thinking a schedule is going to work is a joke, and being flexible is huge. We all have seen how annoying it is when people who arent flexible complain all the time (lil'J). We have learned that you can't do a job like this half-heartedly, because it only makes things harder for everyone around you. We have learned that when the using someone elses things, always imagine that the person is a psycho who is intent on keeping everything in pristine condition, even though their possessions are being used by glue-happy impulsive 10-year-olds. And the only way to get glue off of a table is with a razor blade.

We are a product of our environment

The Death Scorpions have definatly made some improvements since the beginning of camp. We are having less and less two counts, and more and more participation every day. Justin is one camper who I am confident in saying has made an improvement in dealing with tough situations. For whatever reason, he never seems to want to do whatever fun fitness activity we have planned, regardless of the activity. But once we start, he ends up really enjoying himself. I think he is starting to come to this realization and is much more cooperative, even when activities dont seem fun to him.

When I first thought about the progress that these kids have made over the past weeks, my first thought is "What progress?" But Greg opened up my eyes a bit today with one of his comments. I may not see the changes, the progress, and the accomplishments these kids are making because I see them on a day to day basis. But for a teacher, who hasn't seen them all summer, all they see is a huge stride of improvement.

Besides actual progress the kids have been making, I think one of the greatest benefits of this camp for them is that they are in a structured and enriching environment, something they may otherwise not have over the summer with parents at work. It keeps them all in interaction with one another, so they don't fall more behind in interpersonal skills, as well as creating friendships with peers.

Hmmm, very interesting ...

Besides a nice tan and an assortment of arts and crafts projects I truely believe that each of these kids are taking something away from this camp, even if we cannot really see it first hand. When you're with the same people everyday it is sometimes difficult to see the little changes in their attitude and demeanor. In addition since we are only with these kids for a couple week time span it is practically impossible to see any long term changes. Regardless I think the Death Scorpions have definitely benefitted from the camp, if in no other way than being around positive role models and interacting with kids who may or may not be going through the same things as themselves. The friendships that they make at camp over the summer could prove to lend thses kids with future confidants.
Due to the fact that each child has their own challenges they will therefore take away their own individual benefits. I have glimpsed some definite moments of happiness from Wilson and a willingness and desire to share certain tidbits of information. The fact that he became somewhat more willing to share and talk about his personal life is a definite benefit. As for Jonathan I think he benefited most from the social/performing arts activities. While he always tried a sport and loved arts and crafts, even if they were not museum quality, the simple concentration and skills he took away from the social activites will definitely help him in the long run. And finally little Josh. I think his benefit from the program is much harder to see. While he still is a stickler for the rules I think he's finally starting to understand the fact that he isn't in charge and the other kids and mentors alike don't like being constantly reminded of the rules.

There's no phoning it in here

Slowly but surely the blogs are coming in. Sorry to those of you who did not get the assignment due to technical issues. We' re still waiting on three...you know who you are.

I thought it was important for all of you to spend some time considering how you and this program benefit the campers. It is not easy to see what positive things are happening when standing in the middle of the chaos, the demands, the acting out behavior, not to mention the occasional sense of inadequacy that comes when working with children. Nonetheless, you identified plenty of benefits including: exposure to positive role models, a wide variety of fun and challenging activities, a safe place to spend time, improvement in social interactions and even learning a few appropriate coping skills. I have no doubt there are many more benefits that we don't see and may not even know about until well into the future when because of something a mentor said or did, a camper makes a better choice.

I also know that these experiences for the campers did not come without a price. We all had to work hard, plan, be creative, flexible, patient and worst of all come face to face with our own inadequacies. There is no phoning it in here. If you don't do your work you will know because the campers will not tolerate less than our best. Perhaps that is why this work is so hard. They make us do our best work or pay for anything less.

In six weeks you have observed these kids experience growth in their ability to know themselves a little better, Some are getting along with each other more. Some are complying with requests on occasion and participating in activities they've never tried before. A few are more trusting and opening up about themselves. These are important achievements and should not go unrecognized. Let them know the progress you are seeing. Know the progress you are making!

I don't know what to call this...

Well, I believe that the boys in my group(Lil Weezys) are  retaining some core values and skills to get them through their lives but I also believe some of them are completely missing other key things that could prove useful. Many of these boys are getting the first hand experience of variety and coping with a certain level of institutional change in the curriculum(which could pertain to a scholastic setting or other type of institution). They are slowly getting to understand certain social norms such as a sense of togetherness and teamwork, but they are also having trouble as individuals to take the group into consideration when they make decisions. These boys have been getting comfortable with the art of practicing and re-teaching(relearning on their part). 

Tyler for instance has been given a chance to be a part of the group, when he previously served as the scape goat and outcast. Hunter is getting a more positive environment than what I believe to be his home situation. Jacob just refuses to participate but I believe that he is receiving a small sense of motivation which is what I believe seems to be lacking in his life. Josh S is a very difficult and disturbed child, which I witnessed first hand today, but I feel he is getting some positive influence from male figures. Joey seems to be getting better at asking questions because of some of our performing arts activities. Seb is a very hard kid to read as to whether or not he is enjoying himself but I think he, like Josh, is getting some positive influence from male role models. Buddy is in the same boat as Josh and Seb. I'm not sure if Nick is getting anything out of this camp nor am I sure Josiah is really benefiting because he has an attention span of about a second. Will is another one that I have trouble reading and determining his progress. But overall these kids are getting some good social skills for life, especially with dealing with girls. 

Babysteps...

Brittany is definitely benefiting from the chance to be able to release her emotions... she is used to acting indifferent and not really expressing herself...even when being "disciplined" she won't show any emotions whatsoever... but i do think that camp has allowed her to find a place to be able to talk about her feelings when she is ready to do so. Her confidence level has been increasing as well. In the beginning she would hesitate to try anything new that she was afraid to fail at...lately, however, she is willing to try new things and gets super excited when she accomplishes whatever it is she tried [ex. cotton eye joe].

Danye's main benefit, i think, is being surrounded by positive role models. By the stories she tells, the choices she makes, the things she has been exposed to at this young age, I'm pretty sure the positive role models are nonexistent at this point....

Ciara is a tough one...I know she has trouble in social situations [having conversation and making/keeping friends]...but i'm not sure if camp has benefited her to the fullest in these areas... I have noticed that her and Justin are really good friends and they go over to each others houses now... so I'm hopeful that this is a step in the right direction for her...

and Gabby...I'm not quite sure how she is benefitting from this camp... she's gone and seen a lot in her short life...but she is a strong girl with a very optimistic outlook in life... 

Benefits of Camp

I believe that camp has for the most part benefited my campers.  Of course there are some parts of camp that may not be as useful as others.  I think the older boys benefit most from the team building activities.  At their age everything seems to be a competition, and they are often arguing about everything.  When they are forced to work together to achieve a team goal, they do a terrific job.  I think the team building activities will help them be accepted by their peers, as they must learn to cooperate with all different types of people.

Also, the social skill activities are beneficial to the older boys.  Many of the boys do not know how to act in certain situations.  Also, the majority has trouble communicating with their peers.  I think they social skill activities really do benefit these kids, as it puts them in situations they will face in the real world.  

Fun fitness may be the boys favorite thing to do, however it might not be as beneficiary.  It seems to be a necessary to the camp because it allows them to blow off steam, and just play.  Some of the activities do help to build eye hand coordination and motor skills, which some kids struggle with.  The camp has benefited the older boys by building skills they will use in the real world.

Zach 

Campers Benefits!

I think that Alex has benefitted from the camp a great deal by the way she overacts about certain situations, for instance getting hurt.  I think that throughout camp she has realized that being a drama queen doesn't always have its benefits.  It can also lead to not being able to do the things she wants. 

Tessa is definitely enjoying camp!  Camp is a place for her to be herself and is an outlet from the issues she might have at home with her mom.  The camp has also allowed her to experience some new sports and new activities that she thought she was not good at, but with a little encouragement, she continues to participate everyday.  

I'm not really sure how much ShyAnne is benefitting from this camp besides maybe escaping some issues at home.  Even though ShyAnne has not opened up about her personal life, she always just seems happy and giggly about everything when she is at camp.  She is able to interact with all the kids really well and is a joy to be around.  

Hailey has definitely been able to control her anger these past weeks.  She seems to be really enjoying camp as well.  I also think that camp is an outlet for Hailey and it is also helping her in controlling the way she reacts to situations.  She does not get angry as much anymore, especially not during fun fitness. 

Law is Reason, Free from Passion?

I am neurotic aficionado of criminal television series.  And by this, I am neither referring to Judge Judy nor cops.  What I am talking about here is the hardcore, filled-with-plot-holes-but-who-cares-anyways series like CSI, Criminal Minds, Shark and the occasional Cold Case matinee.  How is this relevant you ask?  Yesterday I was watching episode #178 of CSI where an intense bodega hostage scene ensued following a dramatic montage of police cars and petrified grocery store captives.  The head cop began reasoning with the gunman over a loudspeaker, spouting lines like this (Almost exact wording, may I add):

Line #1:  "I need you to listen, nobodies going to hurt you." 

Line #2:  "This is a tough situation for you, but I need you to work with me." 

Line #3:  "You've got a choice, you can both come out together, or you can send your wife ahead of you." 

This rehearsed conversation sounded familiar.  Too familiar.  Why, I asked myself?  And then it hit me.  This cop-actor was using all of the techniques that we learned during training:  I-statements (Line #1), active listening (Line #2), and "giving choices" (Line #3).  I laughed at first, then seriously considered becoming a policeman for two seconds, and then decided to blog about this coincidence instead.  Now, in no way am I equating the Manheim campers to the deranged gunman I saw on TV, nor am I equating the mentors and myself to the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department.  I am simply trying to construct an analogy that imaginatively illustrates the intrinsic benefits that this program offers.  For instance,  while the LVPD upholds Nevadan statutes, we uphold camp rules one through five (Including bonus rule #6:  "Always have fun!").  While the LVPD is armed with guns and Kevlar bulletproof vests, we are armed with counting  and word-of-the-week activities.  In many ways, we are both arbiters of the law.  In both the real world (a.k.a the television world of CSI) and our Manheim microcosm, the laws and justice we uphold provide structure, safety and good times.  And if there is anything these kids have gotten out of this program, I would definitely point to those three benefits.  Some of these kids may go home to chaos, others may be fine.  Either way, in reasonable doses, I believe the daily routine we provide imbibes these kids with a sense of security and solidarity that will ultimately lead them to become less like the psychotic criminal on CSI and more like the LVPD, or us mentors.  For Israel, this program has provided him with a platform to practice his English and work on his self-confidence with regards to public speaking.  For Justin, this program has enabled him to express, accept and understand his true dance-loving and mercurial personality.  For me, I have learned more than can be expressed in this blog entry.  Oh, and and at the end of the episode, the gunman let all of the hostages go and everyone lived...Quite possibly happily ever after.  

Benefits

Unfortunately, Webmail has not yet returned my old messages since the switch over from a couple of days ago, so I have to go on what I remember here for the topic, which I believe has something to do with how camp benefits out campers individually.  

    First, I think camp has had a great many benefits for Hunter simply by offering him an outlet to release some energy.  He loves running around and exercising so much, and our fun fitness activities give him an opportunity to excel at something and work off some steam physically.  For Hunter, having mentors around that hear out his side of the story and offer him encouragement and attention is a big thing, as I don't think he gets much of this over Jacob at home.  He loves the spotlight, and being at camp gives him a chance to hold a little bit of it, which is always good for self-esteem.  I think having people to talk out his anger outbursts with is also beneficial because he knows his episodes aren't the right way to handle it, but he isn't verbally or physically punished for these, rather we sit him down, let him cool off, and talk to him, which is important for someone like him, who wants to make self-improvements.  

   The major benefit that camp has for Seb is that he gets to spend time around younger kids that he can have some more influence over as compared to his regular school day, where he is the smallest student and is probably picked on a lot.  He can take a sort of leadership role and gain some self-confidence around a group that is much less likely to make fun of him than the people in his grade.  He, too, gets a chance to exercise and work off some pent-up energy, and he gets an opportunity to play some acting/performing arts games, which he seems to enjoy and has a knack for. 

    I think many of these benefits overlap to other campers, and I think the most important benefit overall is just the fact that these students, who may be seen in a certain light at school, get to come together and form their own, much smaller, social circle for a couple of months that seems to be a bit more forgiving (though not all the time, as the mentors have seen).  I think this social interaction is crucial for all of the kids, and I think it has quite an impact of the kids.

It only takes one person...

Thank you all for the amazing varied points of view on this topic. I appreciate the comments on how challenging it is to really assess the resiliency of our campers and then to truly impact on that in the short time we have with them. I am glad to see how much you all thought about the issue. The current theory in the helping field is that it is resiliency that allows a child to overcome and succeed in the face of adversity. It is not an easy concept when we consider what makes a child resilient: overall health, genetics, epigenetics (if you don't know what that is, it where much of the field of genetics is moving and may explain much of how genetics works). These things in turn influence such things as temperment, ability to process and learn information in the way it is presented, ability to control impulses and emotion as well as the ability to understand the social world. Then you mix those variables with the environment which certainly impacts a child's resiliency. Those exposed to trauma, inconsistent parenting, violence, neglect and poverty are at great risk for not developing resiliency. The kids in your program deal with at least one or more of these challenges, so it is not surprising that many of you find it hard to see where they are resilient. The more negative variables they are exposed to, the greater the risk.
So where does that take us? We have six weeks to make a difference. Many of you see the progress in your campers already. Many of you are frustrated with the lack of progress. When we look at the big picture it is important to take into account the number and level of risk factor each camper has. Those with fewer risk factors will progress more smoothly and quickly. Those with more, will struggle more. Their progress will come slowly and in small doses. This is where our own resiliency must come into play. Recognize the great challenges you may be facing and decide that you will find a way to either re-adjust your expectations, try different techniques or just listen and learn. In the beginning of training we talked about how the greatest factor in determining a child's success is the presence of one person in their life who unconditionally cared for them. Deb also mentioned this in her post. I believe at the very least each of you has worked hard to provide that to your campers. You may not see the fruits of your labors because you are planting seeds now which will grow in the years to come. You are part of the process of providing these kids who are at such risk with that very important factor. It is that factor that helps children develop resiliency the most. So in the next two weeks, consider the quality of your relationship with your campers. Are you giving them adequate individual time? Do they have the message that you are there for them in good times and bad, that you will forgive mistakes while holding them accountable? When they show who they really are through acting out, picking on others, whining etc. will you continue to accept them and not distance yourself from them as so many adults in their lives do? Will you continue to respect them even when they show so little respect to themselves? If you can come close to any of those things, I wholeheartedly believe you will make a difference and some seeds of resiliency can begin to grow. Thank you all for doing such important work! Cathy

And matt L ...

Hey it'sa me. Mario.....

YESSSSSSSSSSS!!! thanks AMY i'm glad someone remembered!!!

So much hope for these kids...

The simple fact that these kids wake up every morning and manage to make it to camp...is proof of their ability to give each day a new chance.... don't take me wrong...i'm almost 100% positive that they don't wake up every morning and say "GEE GOLLY! TODAY IS A NEW AND BETTER DAY!!!"...but I do believe that deep down inside...these kids have gone through so much pain, drama, and suffering in their short lives...that, although they might not consciously admit it, they hope that their lives can be better and less painful. Without hope... resiliency has no room for improvement... 

We can't be resilient all the time...life doesn't work that way. We have our moments and so do the kids....and they, more than anyone, have reason to get discouraged when nobody else believes in them. 

I know that in order to be somebody in life...we have to believe in ourselves first before we attain success. With a child who has experienced life challenges similar to those our campers live with on a day to day basis... its crucial for us to prove to them that we believe in them so that they too can believe in themselves. 

In life...there are people who take negative experiences and take the pity road and only sink deeper and deeper... then there are those who refuse to be nothing in life and use the road blocks as an inspiration to prove the entire world wrong and make something of themselves...I am convinced that the differenced between these two is having a positive role model in life. A person who not once doubted us, always encouraged us to fight for something better, and despite our falls...was always there to give us a hand and help us get back up on our feet...and continue the fight. 

It only take one person to make that difference. 

Although it's out of their control, these young children have been pretty much set up for failure... but it doesn't have to be that way...

We can be the reason these campers have resiliency. 

Even if we never see our little campers again... I hope that one day they can look back and remember that we believed in them, that we want the best for them, that they can be better than anything that life throws at them. If we can get this message across to them...then i'm sure they can be resilient and bounce back bigger and stronger from any situation in their future... even with the small things in the present like fun fitness and performing arts =P...

I know this might sound overtly optimistic...or maybe even unrealistic...but I say this cuz I speak from experience.... it truly only takes one person.    hopefully it us...

=]

Resilient? Hell no

Resilient is a tough word to describe my campers. I do not believe they are resilient in the traditional sense because I do not believe that their minds truly comprehend the word itself. Not to mention that they cannot wrap their minds around the hand they have been dealt with in life. They are children who ride a roller-coaster of emotions each day and cope through impulsive behavior. These kids cannot handle any adverse situations in a healthy manner. That trait is one that would take much longer than the time we have left in camp. From the field trip this weekend, it is obvious that these children need a lot more attention that they will probably not be able to get as they get older in school. O well, We will keep on trucking.

Now what dat posa mean...

I feel that the majority of these kid have been through enough to last them a lifetime, and to be capable of functioning everyday is nothing short of a miracle. Now, to me, being resilient can mean one of two things: that the child is either fully equipped to handle hard times, deal with them and learn from them without life being completely affected, or just being able to push one's problems aside for the time being. I feel that many of these kids are not equipped to handle the hard times that have come their way but I do not feel that they are so far from hope that they cannot learn how to deal with their problems. They have done their best as children, as human beings, to sort through what has landed on their plates. But I also feel that by helping them to do some of the problem solving themselves and allowing them to have group discussions is just one part of the puzzle and everything else has to fall in place outside of this camp. They need people to develop stable networks of support in order for a true sense of resilience to be accomplished. I have seen some progress in several campers but they are still young and it will take more time than the six week span that we have with them in order to make a huge difference.

Of Giggles, Tantrums and Carpe Diem

A good friend of mine once said to me, "when your dreams to turn to dust, vacuum."  On one hand this is giggle-worthy because my friend is a mildly OCD germaphobe (I.e. Carries around a bottle of mini-purrell hand sanitizer and forces everyone to wash their hands before using his computer.  Three times.)  On the other hand, I now find this quote meaningfully relevant to this week's blog-thesis:  The evolution and decay of childhood resilience.  It's hard to ascertain the exact resiliency levels of my campers, Israel and Justin, because I still know little about their domestic and school lives.  However, based on their participation in camp activities, interactions with other kids, and demeanor towards the mentors, I can wager an educated guess as too how well these kids can bounce/spring/frolic back to emotional equilibrium after crisis.  On a 'resiliency-scale' of one to ten, ten being pogo-stick bouncy (most resilient), and one being a broken trampoline (least resilient), I would rank both Israel and Justin as a four,  for different reasons.  Israel's will to participate in unfamiliar yet fun-filled activities has waned significantly since the start of camp.  During the first few weeks of camp, Israel would at least attempt to join in rounds of catchphrase and thumbs-up-seven-up, albeit with a bit of cheating here and there.  Presently, it is hassle to get him join in fun-fitness, one of his previous favorites.  A solution might be to grant Israel a concession or two - perhaps a game of soccer (which he has recommended multiple times, loudly and frantically) for fun fitness instead of running around and pretending to Irvine Yeathworth's The Blob.  Perhaps this solution is incorrect as well:  By giving Israel what he wants, are we further diminishing his tenacity?  Only time (two weeks) and carefully sidelined observation will tell.  Moving on to Justin.  Using my narc-like abilities, as well as information from the mentor grapevine, I have concluded that Justin is possibly a closeted bully.  Yes - there is the good, the bad, and then the deceptively good yet still bad.  Yet once again I notice a similar downward spiral in him that I noticed in Israel.  The first few weeks of camp, Justin was seriously "fronting".  His good sportsmanship and hi-fives with the other campers earned him an automatic hallucinated halo in my eyes.  A few weeks later, after noticing a bit of subtle name calling, face-making, and 'playful' slapping of other campers on Justin's part, Amy and I spoke with him separately.  Both times resulting in a very pouty and huffy Justin.  It occurred to me that Justin cares greatly of his reputation with the mentors, but not necessarily with the other campers.  However, lately the reverse has been true.  Justin has recently joined the non-participating, drama-inflicting band-wagon clique (which, on bad days, can include the entire death scorpion contingent.) I believe that this downward spiral has been triggered by our discovery of Mr. Hyde's Dr. Jekyll/Justin.  In other words, now that Justin knows that we know of his naughtiness, perhaps he has just decided to air his dirty laundry.  Solution:  Delegate leadership roles to Justin so that his perception of our perception of him is restored to former camp glory.  Again, this could backfire but who knows.  Building resiliency with these boys is much like trying to shoot a rubber band at your fourth grade nemesis' head.  While you don't want to stretch the rubber band to the point of breakage (metaphor for pushing the campers too hard), you also don't want to stretch it too weakly so as to hit your class-room crush two seats ahead (metaphor for not pushing campers hard enough.)  Hopefully I will hit my target.  

Carpe Diem, 

Matt L. 

P.S. Happy 21st to Albertron  

I believe all three of my campers have decent resiliency, but all could handle adversity a little better.  Camp has definitely benefited my campers by building resiliency.  Will and Josh S. struggle more than Joey with resiliency.  Will tends to whine when things do not go his way.  Instead of looking for a solution he tends to shut down when he does not get his way.  Still, Will comes to camp with a big smile every morning.  Josh S. often becomes physical when he faces adversity.  There is no doubt that camp is helping him become resilient.  I have worked with Josh on how to deal with his problems instead of getting physical with other kids.

I believe Joey is one of the most resilient kids in the camp.  Joey does not get discouraged easily.  He tries every activity no matter whether he is comfortable with it or not.  I believed the fitness part of camp has built Joey's resilience.  Joey is not the best athlete, but he works at the sports we play.  He has improved his athletic skills throughout the camp.  

All three of my campers are no doubt resilient.  It is obvious that they are resilient based on the way they view life.  I know camp has made these kids stronger already.

ZACH

Holy Cheese and Crackers ...

I think it is needless to say that overall these kids are pretty resilient in one way or another. It amazes me the ability that these kids have to bounce back from whatever difficulties they are having at home in their own lives and still come to camp and interact with the other kids and counselors. Also it is my experience that regardless of the fact that two kids may have had a conflict 5 minutes earlier they are still very eager to interact with each other and make new friends.
This is not to say that some of them do not have particular strengths and weaknesses in the area of resiliency but overall I think they are doing pretty well. Dr. Pepper for instance has a really tough time with criticism as well as handling discipline of any sort. Even a simple stern request can send him into depressed mode for a short period of time. This often takes him out of the activity for a short period of time, even if it was one which he was enjoying. However almost always does rejoin the activity, usually after a little prompting from one of the counselors or a race with Al.
Wilson seems to be a particularly resilient kid, pretty much showing no negative emotional reaction to many of the activities at camp, it seems as though nothing really phases him. In fact besides the rare desire not to participate in an activity (demostrated by his declaration of the activity as "BOOOORRINGG") his only other emotions include happy and laughing or relatively quiet and reserved. While this may intially appear as a beneficial adaptation it actually proves to be a disadvantage. His lack of showing emotion does not allow people to read his mood and react according, which can be confusing in a social situation.
And last but not least is little Josh. This is one high strung little camper for sure, he lets every little thing bother him and he not only plainly shows it but also lets you know about it as soon as it happens. Actually I think he could learn a thing or two from Wilson. That fact that he lets the little stuff bother him many times interupts the activities and definitely poses a social barrier for him (kids don't like kids who tattle). However while I find it amazing he seems to get along with the other kids relatively well, even though there are some periods of disagreement especially with Justin.

Ps - Happy Birthday Al!!!!!!!!

Resiliency

Well, I'm not quite sure what to write here about resiliency.  For the most part, I feel like these kids appear to be fairly resilient, at least on the outside.  The kids seem to be told that they are misbehaving or they are made fun of or something like that and they seem to let it slide after just a few minutes.  Even if one of the kids is in timeout, I can't really recall any of the campers letting that affect the entire rest of the day.  I remember talking to little Josh about tattling and he hung his head and walked away, but less than a minute later he was back playing with the group.  Most of the kids don't seem to linger on any one thing for very long, but, again, that is a mostly superficial assesment.  I think it is very difficult with the time we have to make serious changes in the campers' resiliency.  Perhaps just making as much of an effort as possible to spend some more face time with the campers and active listening to problems would assist in building their ability to bounce back from something that was bothering them.  To be honest, I am really interested to read what the other mentors have to say about this and what some of their suggestions are because I am really at a loss here for ideas. 

Can't believe it's the 5th week!

Hailey and Alex definitely have some issues with resiliency.  As I mentioned before, in the beginning of camp, Alex would always use her foot as a way to get out of things when she felt discouraged about a certain sport.  In this past week, she has done a great deal of whining and crying during fun fitness. When she pretends to hurt her foot, I will usually make it sound really serious and tell her that she probably needs to sit out during fun fitness.  This always leads to Alex crying in the corner and saying things are not fair. However by taking privileges away from her (e.g. activities during performing arts or pool time), she is able to be more susceptible to being more resilient with her emotions.  She is able to recover from the whining and crying a lot faster.  She also does not do it as much because she now knows what the consequences are. She is beginning to learn that acting hurt or crying does not always get her positive reinforcements and will get back into the activity a lot quicker.

Hailey also has some issues in resiliency.  When she is angry or just not having a good day, she will show it through all her actions. It is very hard to change her moods at times.  When she is in a bad mood, she tends to cause commotion within the girls group by ridiculing the younger girls.  In addition, when she gets yelled at, that also tends to put her in a bad mood.  I think that Hailey needs to be able to learn how to bounce back from her mood changes.  I know that she always seems to feel a lot better after we have confrontations.  So maybe so one-on-one talks with Hailey might help her sort some things out and is also an outlet for her to get all her emotions out.  This might help her in controlling her anger in the future. 

I do not think that Shyanne and Tessa has many issues with resiliency.  I think that when they get yelled at or get discouraged, they are still able to bounce back from it.  Having different activities and some activities being challenging for certain kids definitely helps in developing their abilities in not always succeeding in everything. It teaches them how to accept losing, but that doesn't mean for them to just give up. They are beginning to realize that if they are more flexible in the consequences that happen or receive, they have a better time in the end. 

The War of the Lions

In the position we are in, resiliency is a characteristic that we can only see on a small scale. We will never know if camper can overcome the poverty they are surrounded by, the poor models set by older siblings or parents, or the loss of a parent. So in my opinion, this is a question none of us are going to be able to answer realistically. When it comes to being resilient in terms of dealing with the setback of playing jail-break instead of wiffle-ball, we see this quite a bit. So for this blog assignment, I will think of resiliency in terms of there ability to deal with things they do not like or do not want to do. Firstly, I should say this past week was a trying week for the death scorpions, as they were not up to trying new things. When i think about my three campers, Kevin, Seth and Timmy, their resiliency varies from task to task. Kevin is ok when starting a new activity, unless its a tag game (ghost tag, right amy?). Its moving to a new task is where he is not very resilient. cleaning up is a problem for Kevin, as he must always get that last bead placed, the last swing of the bat, or the last brush of paint on his birdhouse. Timmy and Seth are generally OK, as they each have only one area they struggle with. Every morning, I have to crush Timmy's dreams of playing wiffle-ball for the day, and if we are playing any type of tag game, Seth is in agony. I would say the death scorpions in general have much room for improvment in terms of just going with the flow of the day, no matter the activity.

Remember: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...

Ok this is kinda late but whatevs

Well, my favorite kid in the camp is Hunter. Hunter is a kid with so much potential but little direction. He has outbursts that seem over the top to spectators but to him they are justified with every flick of the hands and thrusts of his arms. I have come to see these outbursts as an intricate part of Hunter's personality and without them he would not be himself. But at the same time I fear that, if he does not learn to manage his emotions in a more positive and less disruptive way, he could end up suffering consequences that he could have just as easily avoided. Hunter is also one of those kids who complains about everything except fun fitness but ends up loving the majority of the activities afterwards. I see that Hunter wants to be strong all the time and he wants to be the one people can depend on, but he can help but lose control sometimes. I strongly believe that if Hunter really wanted to, he could take over the world, it just saddens me to think that he might not be given the opportunity or if he is he will not be taken seriously. I also am concerned that he might not be given that support he needs from his family. He has made so many efforts to better himself and I commend him whole heartedly for that. I want this kid to succeed and I truly do believe in him.

Jacob on the other hand does not show as much potential as Hunter does, because Jacob does not want to leave his area of comfort. He fears making himself look foolish or exerting himself physically or mentally. He is not accepted by his peers because he puts a barrier between himself and them. He does not want to be a team player and has absolutely no desire to to even entertain the idea. There have been times that Matt J., Drew, and I have encouraged Jacob to put his personal preferences aside in order to connect with the other campers but he refuses. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my efforts when I even talk to the kid, other times I feel like maybe today is the day he'll leave his comfort zone, but that day has yet to come. I think that if Jacob stopped ostracizing the majority he might actually stand a chance at having a social life. Until then I think he will have to remain happy with being the unpopular kid. 

Josiah is a wonderful kid, though I wonder what world he is living in because he can be the most baffling child sometimes. He is kind hearted. He treats everyone equally and always encourages people to get along. He is one of the few kids that I can count on to push his chair in at the table. He is an enigma but he's very chill and I do not know if Josiah is really being affected by this experience but I hope for the best for him.

Wow...week three!

Thank you to the seven mentors ( I know two more are on their way), for your thoughtful insights about your campers. It helps me because as I explained in our last supervision, I only get a few snap shots of what really goes on both in the program and in your relationships with your campers. Clearly you all have put some time into thinking about how your campers tick, and as is most often the case, there are no easy answers. We have acting out campers who just seem to get in their own way all the time. We have campers who are closed off and well defended even from the most kind and nurturing attempts. We have campers who hide who they are, and hide from us what goes on in their real lives. And we have campers who confuse us, make us wonder why they are in our program because on the surface they seem to function well. I hear your confusion, and your concerns and your sense of helplessness. I also hear your hope, your belief in yourselves and your sense that in some way you can make a difference in their lives. Recently in our meeting I heard your conviction to making this program a place that is "right" for these kids. They are lucky to have you advocating for what is best for them. That is not something they usually get in this world and you at the very least have given them a place where they can have fun, experience their power, and most importantly feel safe and respected.

Don't stop thinking about what is going on with them and questioning why they behave the way they do. Their behavior will teach you as long as you remain open to the possibilities that behavior works to meet needs. If we understand that they need what we all need: love, attention, control, a sense of safety and a sense of purpose, then we can begin to unravel the mystery of behavior that does not make sense on the surface. It is a simple theory, but much more complicated in its implementation. The purpose of this blog was to encourage you to think more deeply about your campers behaviors, motivations and deep unmet needs. You will continue to do this for the duration of the program and hopefully as you go into life and are challenged by the seemingly unusual behavior of others. You will always have the choice to judge and blame or to go deeper and ask what is that they really need that causes them to act this way? This question is only the beginning of a long journey, but at least it puts you on the path to understanding.

Yeah, but ...

Jonathan --> Well well what can you say about the Dr. Pepper. He's usually a very pleasant camper and willing to participate in most of the activities with the exception of some of the fun fitness actiivites. Also he has a tendancy to withdraw from activities when he feels ridiculed by other campers or that he does not quite meet up to the standards of the game. I'm very pleased to see that besides getting along with all of the counselors he has really started forming some friendships with the other campers, especially Seth. I think one of his main problems is understanding more complex activities and then staying on task. Also he often seems to seek attention, especially from the counselors often times repeating an activity (such as singing as certain song) until his actions are recognized. I think Jonathan really needs to learn to be a better sport and really work on his social skills.

Little Josh --> He sure does like his rules and to "play fair" and make sure that everyone knows those rules and plays fair as well. Also he is always full of "what if ... " question just to make sure that all bases are covered when starting an activity. This can be a little irratating to the counselors and fellow campers alike, often causing some relationship problems making it difficult for him to form any really strong friendships. Overall he seems like a very sensitive and fun kid. He just really needs to learn to become more relaxed and understand that counselors and teachers alike are in charge and will take care of enforcing the rules.

Wilson --> Wilson sure is one tough cookie. He is certainly a very physically active kid and more than willing to participate in most activities with the exception of some of the arts & crafts activities. It seems he has difiiculty expressing himself when given free range during arts activites. Otherwise he is usually pretty quiet but has really started branching out and making friends. However this usually involves troublemaking of some sort, he has a tendancy to follow others who are causing mayhem, such as Kevin or Seb. Unlike the others though he usually stops an activity when asked. I've had a couple break-through moments with Wilson and think that he really just need a safe environment and positive reinforcement, also it seems that he does much better when kept busy and challenged.

Cody --> This young fella is still a no show but I really hope he comes up because I'm sure I speak for the others when I say that I would really like to work with him.

WWOOOO DEATH SCORPIONS!!!!

Joey, Will, and Josh S.

My three campers have been a joy to work with in camp.  I have gotten to know all three campers well, and they all have different talents.  Joey is consistently one of the best behaved campers.  He is usually willing to participate in all the activities.  There is a couple things that Joey struggles with.  He often doesn't think before he speaks, thus he is constantly stuttering.  Also, Joey tends to follow some of the boys.  He will sometimes find himself in trouble because he will join in on the bad behavior of the group.

     Working with Will has been a roller coaster ride thus far.  Some days Will is the best behaved child in camp, others he is extremely difficult to work with.  I am not quite certain what causes the change in behavior.  Will has trouble dealing with the day when things do not go his way.  Instead of trying to find a solution for his problems, Will whines when things do not go they way he wants them to.  

Like Will, Josh's behavior varies from day to day.  In working with Josh it is obvious to see that he is an attention seeker.  Josh tries to get attention from both the mentors and the campers.  Josh also has trouble when he things do not go his way.  He gets frustrated easily, and gets extremely argumentative.  I think a lot of Josh's problems stem from his father not being around.  He has brought up that he never really sees his father, and that the only time he is happy is when he is with his Dad.

While my campers can be difficult at times, they are all a joy to work with.  Watching them make progress is amazing.  I am sure that all three will continue to make strides through the rest of camp.

Zach

The older girls...

oh wow..i dont even know where to start...

Danye has sooooo much going on at home...kudos to her for still being able to make it through the day...regardless of the situation at home. I definitely noticed the first week that she is a very needy child [as most of the kids are] and wants to be heard. I feel like she has been holding her emotions in for so long...that all of a sudden she is opening up to everyone she comes across with at camp.  My first impression of her was "wow she is a really happy, fun, and sweet girl and is always cooperating at camp"...I now realize that beneath this campers mask is a long deep history of pain and suffering and she is seeking the attention and comfort that she hasn't received from her family. I do wonder, however, what brings her to lie about things...like the day she told us her mother had a heart attack and she was up all night in the hospital????

Despite all of this...Danye is a great camper. She consistently seeks to bring unity to the group...it hurts her to see that the girls bicker and argue over little things...it truly bothers her and I know she wishes everyone got along at all times. She is great at cooperating and good friends with ShyAnne and now Brittany. My goal for her at the end of camp is for her to be able to take control of her emotions without having to exaggerate them nor share them with everyone. I want for her to be able to trust someone enough to realize she doesn't have to exaggerate her circumstances in order for others to care about her...

Brittany! Its hard for Brittany to express her emotions...I've noticed she doesn't cry, but I've definitely noticed, on several occasions, that she tries to hold the tears back and makes herself not cry...This concerns me because things at home aren't easy right now with her parents divorce and other stuff...and she needs to be able to cry at times to relieve herself and not bottle everything up...yet shes hard as a rock. Brittany also struggles with friends at camp. Because she struggles with friends, I've noticed that she puts up a wall to push everyone out before they get to her and hurt her. She realizes she isn't everyone's BFF at camp, so at times she initiates the exclusions before the girls exclude her. When Jen and I or the other girls confront her about issues, she won't admit to them and I wonder whether we get the message across to her sometimes. Her self esteem is quite low...She has negatives self-image perceptions and because of her rough childhood, feels like the reject both at home and school/Camp. By the end of camp I truly hope Brittany can get beyond that and realize how many people care about her. Hopefully this can help her improve on her social skills =]

Gabby...wow this girl can TALK!!!! jaja...she is truly amazing and quite mature for her age. She is the most positive girl out of the entire group. She won't tolerate negativity from any of the girls...whether its towards each other...or self criticism. She encourages the girls to be positive and speak highly of themselves. Gabby is fun and very creative. For the first two weeks of camp I would always wonder why she had been referred to this camp because I couldn't quite grasp what it was we could help her with...besides having a fun summer. Although I Gabby hasn't really opened up quite yet about any issues at home...I have a feeling there is more than meets the eye to the happy Gabby we always see at camp. From the bits and pieces I've gathered here at there...Gabby gets alot of responsibilities put on her and many times she feels like she doesn't have a voice because she has no choice but to be the "responsible one" at home...Gabby just wants to be a kid...without all the worries from home...but like I said...this is only my impression so far...

Ciara...I still don't quite understand why She is in this camp...She is quite mature and tries everything even though she knows she isn't the best at some of the activities...the only struggle I see is making friends. She is a super intelligent girl that just needs help creating friends....I honestly don't think she needs this camp because she seems to be doing just fine..She already knows everything we are gonna do...and at times acts like she knows more than the counselors...I think she will do pretty well without another year of camp.... 

p.s. I LOVE MY GIRLS!!!! =P

~Deb

Hunter and Seb

I can't remember what the exact assignment was for this week's blog, but from what I've read so far we're supposed to give an update on our kids.  Hunter goes back and forth with his behavior.  Sometimes he can be a great leader and a big help, and other times he can cause us all a headache.  He seems to be negatively influenced by Nick a bit lately, but he showed Thursday that even if Nick is being miserable all day, he can still have a good time.  He has a problem with his anger outbursts, but he knows it, and he seems willing to admit that they are wrong and he has been receptive to working on that aspect of his behavior.  In fact he is one of the only campers who has been able to give himself a "time out" on a couple of occasions to cool his head.  He's told a couple of us about some trouble he has at home with Jacob and his aunt and uncle and I think he carries that over into camp a lot, especially with regards to overreacting when someone blames him for something.  I think he tends to be the scapegoat at his home, and that might affect his sensitivity toward receiving blame for something at camp as well.  In all Hunter is doing well and, in my opinion, benefitting quite a bit.  He tells us that he is having a great time at camp quite often, and I genuinely believe that's the truth.  

Seb is a very strange young man.  He is constantly looking for attention, and he often does this by acting a lot younger than one would expect a thirteen year old to act.  He comes off as rather immature.  He has a strange fascination with dressing up (sometimes in slightly effeminate ways) and he, more so than many of the younger kids, goes out of his way to make ludicrous comments and suggestions.  For example, if one would ask him about a club choice, a likely response might be, "Ra ra," followed by his laughter and no one else's.  As I've seen from his self-evaluation and from his behavior in camp, he is very concerned about girls, which is a reminder that he is actually thirteen years old.  He really dwells on the relationships between himself and some of the female campers, and he seems to hold having a "girl friend" in the highest regard.  This has created some interesting social situations in camp, though nothing too major.  It might help Seb if we went out of our way to put him into more leadership positions, but that could also backfire on us if he's going to just wriggle around on the floor muttering "Bacon," as he's been known to do.

Halfway through!

Alex is definitely a handful sometimes.  As in the evaluation from last year, she definitely has trouble with following directions and becomes pouty when she does not get her way.  In the beginning, she had a huge cut on her foot, which she began to use everyday during fun fitness when she did not win certain games.  I began to realize that she definitely was using her foot as an excuse.  As the week went by, when she would use her foot as an excuse (e.g. capture the bacon or kickball), I would over exaggerate her foot and tell her that her foot probably hurt too much to play (which we have talked  about).  This has really worked on her and she does not get as pouty about not winning certain games.  By the end of camp, I would really like to see Alex improve on her emotions by not worrying about always getting what she wants and being able to listen to the counselors a lot better.

ShyAnne is a very vibrant girl.  She sometimes has trouble following directions and staying quiet, while the counselors are speaking, but she does not show many social issues.  She works well with the other girls and is very cooperative in all the activities that we do.  ShyAnne understands when she gets counted and stops whatever she is doing wrong once she is counted.  The only time that I have had to put her on time out was when she hit the ball with the bat and the ball almost hit one of the girls when she was not suppose to be playing.  Once she did that, you could tell that she knew what she did wrong and sat right down quietly for her time out. Besides that, I have not had much trouble with ShyAnne.

On the first day of camp, Hailey walked in with her head down and a frown on her face.  She began each day like that for the first week and did not want to participate in many activities besides fun fitness.  As the 1st wk went by, Hailey started to cooperate with the other campers a lot better.  During one of our group meetings at Longs Park, Hailey also started off the conversation with the other girls by using "I statements," which I thought was quite impressive. Also during the 2nd group meeting, she also opened up a lot more and said she had anger management problems and also had issues at home with her parents.  You can really see her moods change throughout the day and she definitely has trouble controlling her attitude towards the other campers.  She also tends to start up some issues between the girls as well. I would really like to work on her anger by having more talks with her when she gets in one of her moods and have her just talk it out because it seems like she feels a lot better once she gets it all out.  

And Finally...Tessa.  She also had a rough start to camp.  She was very shy and came to camp during the 2nd week so I think she also felt a little left out. I thought that it was really interesting how on the third day of camp for her, she started to cause a little bit of issues within the group.  She would tell me that Brittany and Alex did not like her and said that they did not want her at the camp. She would confront me about this in front of both of them, which showed that it seemed like she wanted more attention from the counselors. This soon passed and Tessa felt a lot better about camp.  Another issue that Tessa has is her idea that she is not liked because of her skin.  I thought it was really interesting that she wrote that also on her camp evaluation.  I also had a one-on-one talk with her one day and that is when she started to tell me that she did not think her parents liked her because they paid more attention to her brother.  She also mentioned that she did not enjoy her last home because of her skin color. I would really like to work on Tessa's perception of herself and help her in knowing that she is such a beautiful girl inside and out! 

When In Rome

Kevin. How can I put this in words… Clearly wants attention, regardless if it is being praised or scolded. And he will do pretty much anything if you let him. Often when he is asked why he just did that (some misbehavior), he shrugs his shoulders. Sometimes I actually believe him, and his misbehavior is simply impulsivity getting the better of him. In other situations I think he might not know what is right or wrong, but this is seldom, as Kevin is far brighter than he would lead you to believe. He conveniently had to go home the day he was supposed to have 45 minutes out of the pool. Obviously his favorite part of the camp thus far has been Shady Maple, so one would think he would be an angel that day, yet he wasn’t. He still couldn’t follow the rules. I Kevin’s main downfall is his lack of self control. He is impulsive and fails to see the consequences of his actions, even if they are only seconds in the future. Also, when he does do something wrong, a simple scold in completely ineffective. Only if you take away what is nearest and dearest to him, food and the pool, does he show sadness.
Timmy is a very good camper. Rarely do we see any problems with Timmy. Sometime it takes a while for him to participate is social or performing arts activities, but he often ends up enjoying whatever we are doing. He excels at athletics especially wiffle ball.
Seth is easily our most improved camper in terms of participation and social interaction. His problem was not misbehavior, but lack of participation in camp activities. In the first days of the camp, he barely said a word and would rather keep score than do anything else. This past week he participated in wiffle ball everyday and had that classic Seth smile with every swing of the bat. Although he still brings some safety object, such as a sponge bob coloring book or a stuffed animal, he is active and really seems to be enjoying camp everyday.

Im Ron Burgundy?

Well, I took a hard and deep look at my campers, Buddy and Tyler. Buddy started the Summer off a bit more defiant than the previous year. I talked to his mother and she had explained the step father is trying to move into a more important part of Buddy's life. However, since our discussion Buddy has changed considerably for the better. My goal for him by the end of camp will be to continue to improve his social interaction, specifically sharing with the others. 

Tyler's story could be considered in his eyes as a Greek Comedy. Truth be told, throughout the day Tyler enjoys a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Early in camp he was struggling with the social aspect of camp. He conveyed his troubles very persistently. Finally, we squashed that problem with an intervention with the entire Lil' Wheezys. Since then Tyler has flourished. However, now with this new sense of self-confidence he is starting to exclude others. What are some good techniques to use to stop his shenanigans?

God Bless America,

Matt

Camper Evaluations

Israel Moreno:  

Looking at Israel's evaluation last year, his personality corresponds starkly with what his parents, previous mentors and teachers had to say about him:  "The sunshine kid of F&M Camp," "usually gets along well with other children," "usually follows rules," etc.  However, I gleefully picked Israel as one of my campers because I felt I could relate to him culturally.  Noting in Israel's extended profile that he could "easily be mislabeled as lazy due to his struggle with language and understanding directions," I felt a significant bond materialize.  After moving back to America from Beijing, China for the 'F&M experience', I felt like a cultural pariah, a complete fish out of water - unable to laugh at US pop-culture references my friends made and always slightly disturbed by the cleanliness of Pennsylvanian air.  I thought perhaps Israel and I would be able to commiserate on our cultural awkwardness (Little did I know that this kid would be a master at evading my inquiries that delved beyond camp life).  Like any other excited counselor, I tactfully cornered Israel one-on-one during walks to the pool/the bus/field trips and politely sprinkled him with questions.  No deal.  I then tried talking about myself to get him to open up.  Even worse idea.  Then I spoke to him in Spanish - duh.  The result was a brief, yet illuminating conversation that went something like this: 

Me: "¿Hola Israel, puedes hablar Español?" 

Translation:  "Hey Israel, can you speak Spanish?" (Obviously I knew he could - It was just part of my master plan)

Izzy M:  "Si!" 

Translation: "Yes!"

Me:  "¿Hablas Español con sus padres? 

Translation: "Do you speak spanish with your parents?" 

Izzy M:  "No, hablo Inglés" 

Translation: "No, I speak English" 

And that was basically it with some superfluous stuff that I cut out.  At the time I was just excited to be practicing my spanish (Spanish 221 is coming up next semester so I need all the practice I can get) and that Israel was sharing stuff about his family with me, of course.  But after reading Israel's evaluation a second time and noting that his "parents speak only Spanish" and that last year "he was occasionally teased for not speaking English as well as the others," I understand this conversation much better.  I feel like Israel is trying to mask his hispanic heritage, which is regrettable.  Having attended international school all my life, it never occurred to me that yes, it can suck to be a minority sometimes, and yes, even little kids can be racist (not that i've seen any of that at camp).  So what I want to work on with Israel is bringing out his confidence in his own culture.  Besides that, his English doesn't sound as bad as his evaluation makes it out to be so perhaps he's improved since last year.  He also participates in sports and arts and crafts and enthusiastically and usually joins in performing arts activities.  Last year's evaluation also mentioned anger problems, but so far Israel has been relatively passive.  If he lands himself in cooking club next weekend, maybe Debbie, Fred and I will focus more on ethnic cuisine.  

Justin McEvoy:  

J-town has definitely been a tough cookie to crack.  The first two weeks he was an angel for the most part - almost frozen in weird, extended honey-moon state.  He participated maturely in all the activities and talked avidly about Godzilla flicks and his video game collection.  But nothing gold can stay...  I've noticed that Justin picks on other kids discreetly, which makes me believe that maybe he was causing drama the first week, and that I was simply oblivious to it.  Most of the other campers know not to pick on some of the more timid kids like Jonathan and Seth - but Justin hasn't really grasped this concept yet.  What's interesting is that each kid seems to have a pretty clear-cut personality (a.k.a. sweet and giggly, straight-up obnoxious, or angry yet misunderstood) but Justin seems to be more of an almagamation of many different kinds of 'clear-cut' personalities.  Definitely a good thing though because it keeps me on my feet and reminds me not to typecast campers.  I have noticed that Justin is very sensitive, especially when interacting with mentors, in that he takes getting scolded personally.  Over the next couple of weeks I plan on observing Justin acutely - so that hopefully I will be able to piece together his wide spectrum of emotions and behaviors.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Brian Lebzelter:

Has yet to show up...but I hope he does because i'm sure he's a lovely character based on his evaluation from last year! 

Thanks once again for your thoughtful postings!

Thank you for putting in the time you do with your blogs. I know it is not an easy thing to do, but I have always found that putting my thoughts in writing helps me to clarify whatever it is I am grappling with. You all have many things to grapple with as you naviagate through the remaining weeks of camp. You have chosen some very noble goals and I am hopeful that you will make progress on them. Again I see common themes: camp is more challenging now that the campers are showing you that they have many unmet needs, despite how hard you work, those unmet needs keep showing up, you are not losing sight of the challenges these kids face, but this work is hard! I think those are just a few for week 2. Isn't it nice that you have each other to count on as you all share these challenges?

You may not always be aware of how you are impacting the kids especially when you are in the midst of all their needs and demands. I know you are making a positive impact. I see it when I see how engaged and interested they are in their activities. I see it when I read their evaluations and many talk both about being happy at camp and being unhappy about being counted. They want to please you. I also see it when I see they are willing to open themselves up to you and share their lives. Never underestimate the power you have in their lives!
Cathy