It only takes one person...

Thank you all for the amazing varied points of view on this topic. I appreciate the comments on how challenging it is to really assess the resiliency of our campers and then to truly impact on that in the short time we have with them. I am glad to see how much you all thought about the issue. The current theory in the helping field is that it is resiliency that allows a child to overcome and succeed in the face of adversity. It is not an easy concept when we consider what makes a child resilient: overall health, genetics, epigenetics (if you don't know what that is, it where much of the field of genetics is moving and may explain much of how genetics works). These things in turn influence such things as temperment, ability to process and learn information in the way it is presented, ability to control impulses and emotion as well as the ability to understand the social world. Then you mix those variables with the environment which certainly impacts a child's resiliency. Those exposed to trauma, inconsistent parenting, violence, neglect and poverty are at great risk for not developing resiliency. The kids in your program deal with at least one or more of these challenges, so it is not surprising that many of you find it hard to see where they are resilient. The more negative variables they are exposed to, the greater the risk.
So where does that take us? We have six weeks to make a difference. Many of you see the progress in your campers already. Many of you are frustrated with the lack of progress. When we look at the big picture it is important to take into account the number and level of risk factor each camper has. Those with fewer risk factors will progress more smoothly and quickly. Those with more, will struggle more. Their progress will come slowly and in small doses. This is where our own resiliency must come into play. Recognize the great challenges you may be facing and decide that you will find a way to either re-adjust your expectations, try different techniques or just listen and learn. In the beginning of training we talked about how the greatest factor in determining a child's success is the presence of one person in their life who unconditionally cared for them. Deb also mentioned this in her post. I believe at the very least each of you has worked hard to provide that to your campers. You may not see the fruits of your labors because you are planting seeds now which will grow in the years to come. You are part of the process of providing these kids who are at such risk with that very important factor. It is that factor that helps children develop resiliency the most. So in the next two weeks, consider the quality of your relationship with your campers. Are you giving them adequate individual time? Do they have the message that you are there for them in good times and bad, that you will forgive mistakes while holding them accountable? When they show who they really are through acting out, picking on others, whining etc. will you continue to accept them and not distance yourself from them as so many adults in their lives do? Will you continue to respect them even when they show so little respect to themselves? If you can come close to any of those things, I wholeheartedly believe you will make a difference and some seeds of resiliency can begin to grow. Thank you all for doing such important work! Cathy