That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger

You all clearly gained many benefits from being in the program. Perhaps you even understand my title a little bit better than you did before you started. You faced many tough challenges and I am impressed with all that you took from them. You stretched yourselves beyond your comfort zones and I'm not talking about sitting mountain. You learned how to plan and organize six weeks of activities to keep a demanding group challenged and engaged. You learned to set limits, settle disputes, maintain a raucous crowd, communicate effectively with both your campers and your fellow mentors. Most importantly you built enduring attachments to your campers. You battled hardened glue and even a somewhat hardened teacher, who due to Zach's timely apology softened to the point where she actually expressed interest in our program. Thank you Zach!

I know this has not been an easy time, but it is clear that you have all grown and learned and best of all it didn't kill you!
Cathy

Time Spent and Lessons Learned

Taken as a whole I would have to rate working as a mentor at this camp as one of the most fun and frustrating summer jobs all mixed into one and I would not trade this experience for the world. This camp has not only provided me with some new and lasting friendships with the fellow mentors and hopefully the children but has also taught me many things about myself. While I was extremely excited to work at this camp I did have some doubts about my own personal abilities to work with this certain group of kids. I am now happy to report that these few doubts have been successfully proved wrong. First of all I had some worries about working with kids of this specific age group. In the past I have always worked with kids much younger and even my own mother was a little apprehensive about my ability to successfully relate to these children. However I have learned that while many times it is much more difficult to work with older children the relationships that are formed are that much more rewarding.

Another thing that I was particularly worried about was my ability to discipline these children. While I may be a loud and outgoing person I also have a tendency to avoid confrontation and do not enjoy reprimanding others whatsoever. In addition I try to keep everyone happy and tend not to yell at others for fear that they may dislike me for it later. This camp has shown me that in fact I am able to discipline others but also that they will not think less of me for it. It is quite the contrary, it seems that they will respect you and look up to you more for it. I feel that this lesson has had the greatest impact on my personality and will definitely help me stand up for myself and realize that just because you are speaking your mind or regulating others there is no need to fear being disliked. 

On a last note this experience has definitely enforced the old saying "don't judge a book by it's cover". While at first glance some of the kids just seemed like absolute tornados of destruction and misbehavior but once you uncover the true source of the problem a whole other light of understanding is shed on the situation. People really do in fact wear "masks" in order to cover their true feelings and with a little work and perseverance you can get to know the real person underneath. Overall I am so grateful for this experience and had an absolutely amazing time this summer. 

...Benefits....

I would say [hands down] I had a super amazing Summer and I wouldn't change my experience for the world. This Summer was full of various eventful memories with the campers that at times brought smiles and laughter and at other times frustration and impatience. 

By the end of camp I became really attached to the campers and was sad to see them leave. I learned a lot during this Summer, and these young children taught me a lot about myself as well. They made me laugh, they gave me memorable stories to share with my roommates, and at times I went home concerned about their circumstances at at home. This camp has helped me realize that working with children from "at-risk" backgrounds is what I really want to do in life. 

They tested my patience, they tested my authority, they even tested my athletic ability when they challenged me to a race!...But most of all they tested my willingness to be there for them when they needed an adult to talk to and open up about their feelings. This camp meant a lot to me because my childhood was very similar to what many of these campers are going through. As we learned in training, sometimes our negative experiences in life can become a vicious cycle as we reenact them in our lives as grown ups, not intentionally, but because its the only way we learned to do things... I always told myself I would never continue that cycle because I wanted things to be different. This camp helped me realize how much of an impact one can be for these young children. As oppositional as these campers were at times, they still look up to us even though they might openly deny it. It made me strive to be there for them even more because, as i've said before... it only takes one person to make that difference...and we happened to have nine...so the impact could be even greater!

This camp gave me a lot of useful skills that I can benefit from even out of camp. I've worked with children for several years now...but for the most part it was one-on-one work...Working with our 26 campers taught me crucial skills on managing a large group of children, dealing with conflict/resolution issues, learning how to spread out my attention so that no child feels ignored, being able to cater the lesson plan to suit every individual child's special needs, and the fact that working with children isn't a 9-5 job. You grow to care about this kids in a very special way...so much that I would go home sometimes and be wondering what the kids were doing at the moment, planning what I would want to do with them the next day, wondering how I could get Tessa to participate in the activities since she refused to do so the day before, and at times being at the store and seeing an item that reminded me of my kids and bring a smile to face. 

I plan on keeping in touch with my girls [atleast before i leave the country! lol]. I want to continue watering the friendship that we started over camp and hopefully see them blossom into the young beautiful ladies that I know they will become. Thank you Cathy and Lisa for this opportunity to work with this young and talent children. They brought so much into my life and I will forever keep the memories I shared with them over the last six weeks.

What will be will be

Well, there are a few things that I took from this program. First, I learned about the importance of being able to dedicate at least a little portion of time to someone, especially since these kids can barely get the amount of attention that just comes naturally in my family. There were also a few times where I would talk to Hunter, Seb, and a few others when they seemed to be having a rough day. But the fact I took a little time to stop and devote to them really made a difference in the moment or showed fruits later on in their behavior. Another thing I learned from this program is how to deal with people I work with a  more positive manner, because most jobs I have had did not require me to work as closely with 9 other people directly everyday. All of these mentors proved to be very cool and easy going people, so there did not seem to be any negative energy between anyone. A third thing that I believe is very important that I learned over the course of this program is how to care about someone and not bring the stress from the job back home, all the time. There are a few kids that seemed to have grown on me over the summer and there were things that they either said, did, or talked about doing that would get me concerned for them, but in the end I had to leave some of this stuff at work so that I could come home and be able to go to work refreshed and ready to do it all over again the next day. It is hard to work with children and not eventually care about their well being and future, but I know that what will be will be and if I can help effect them positively then I at least did one thing my life. 

Benefits

First of all, I had a such great time working with all the campers and mentors this summer! It was such a great experience to learn about each individual kid and realize how much they are dealing with at home.  Their emotions and actions during camp definitely represent some of the things that they might be dealing with at home.  However deep down, these kids are so sweet and are using their strong attitudes as a way to cover up the wounds inside.  I have learned that I am so grateful of having such a good support system.  These kids have so much potential if they had the constant support system behind them.  

My patience for kids has definitely changed a great deal.  Even though I have worked with kids in the past, these campers definitely tested my patience everyday.  However as camp went along, I learned that kids love to test your patience.  You can't get angry cause that will never solve anything.  In addition, being able to actively listen to these kids definitely helped a lot as well.  Some of these kids just need someone to listen to them.  They aren't able to have that at home, which is why they sometimes just want to talk about the issues that are occurring at camp, but it also sometimes leads to other issues they might have with themselves or at home.  

Just being able to be a part of these kids' lives and making somewhat of an impact is a fulfilling feeling.  I loved watching these kids come to camp with such a great smile and excitement.  Just being able to see these kids have a great time and seeing them smile and laugh were the greatest benefits.  Hearing Jonanthan say that he was going to miss us was such a great feeling and knowing that he wanted us to be there and keep camp going made me realize how wonderful these kids really are.  They just needed an outlet to be themselves and camp was that to them.  

This was a great experience and I learned so much from each individual camper.  They are so different in many ways, which made camp so interesting everyday!

Benefits

I feel like there are so many benefits to this job, that I'm almost at a loss for where to start.  Most of the what I gained from the experience had to do with things that I picked up about myself that I might not have discovered otherwise.  I was amazed to find my patience tested further than it ever had been at times, and I was pleased to find that when I needed to maintain composure I was able to exercise it.  At times it was extremely difficult not to look at one of the kids who had been making some kind of cruel remark to another camper and cut him down a peg with my own two cents.  I was very relieved to know that when necessary, however, I wouldn't let the kids down by stooping to that level.  Rather I could draw up the patience and maturity to do the right thing and count the offending camper.  I was also really happy to work on active listening.  I wasn't sure how well I would do with it, and I'm sure I was pretty rusty at first, but by the end of camp I felt like the kids  seemed more comfortable opening up, which I took as a good sign.  A benefit that doesn't relate directly to the kids so much would be having the opportunity to work with eight other students that I really had not met prior to this summer.  It was great to work on a team comprised of people with diverse interests and see everyone come together for the kids.  Overall, I'd say that knowing the kids had a good time, made some friends, and improved behavior and social skills is a huge benefit, because I can feel a great deal of satisfaction knowing that I helped make that possible.

I have benefited greatly from working with the talented students of Manheim.  Over the past 6 weeks I have had to deal with an assortment of situations.  My experience at camp has made me a stronger and more confident person.  I am somewhat of a shy person, and camp definitely helped me become more vocal.  I was able to get in front of a large group and assert myself.  

Working with the children also has made me a better person.  It easy to get along with people that are like you, but when you have to deal with all types of people it can be a challenge.  All the kids are different, thus I learned how to deal with all kinds of people.  I wasn't able to handle every kid them same.  Each of them needed specific needs to be fulfilled.  

  Also, I plan on becoming a teacher after I graduate from F&M.  This program was great experience, as it taught me how to manage a large group of kids.  Although the program was not specifically focused on academics, I definitely learned different ways to teach children.  There is no doubt in my mind that I will carry my experiences in camp into the real world when I hopefully become a teacher.  

I believe that kids have taught me a thing or two as well.  The kids have such a positive outlook on life, even-though their lives may be tough.  They have taught me to keep a positive attitude even when things are not going good.  I consider these kids to be my friends, and really do look forward to keeping in contact with them in the future.  

Finally,  I enjoyed working with the 8 other mentors, and believe I have learned from them.  Each mentor brought something different to the table, and I was able to learn from them.

Zach

Excuse Me, I'm In Industry

This past summer has been a very unique and beneficial experience. I have gained a real insight into the guidance counselor career path, as these are the types of children who I would interact with most of the time. The camp itself, as well as the three weeks of training, feed into this. Aside from the specific, working and also make friends with a group of people I had never met is a crucial ability to be honed at this point in our lives. In addition to this, all of us have improved in our teamwork and our cohesiveness with others. We support our coworkers and know how to ask for support when we need it. We have all improved in our ability to create an effective schedule and implementing it. More importantly, we have learned that thinking a schedule is going to work is a joke, and being flexible is huge. We all have seen how annoying it is when people who arent flexible complain all the time (lil'J). We have learned that you can't do a job like this half-heartedly, because it only makes things harder for everyone around you. We have learned that when the using someone elses things, always imagine that the person is a psycho who is intent on keeping everything in pristine condition, even though their possessions are being used by glue-happy impulsive 10-year-olds. And the only way to get glue off of a table is with a razor blade.

We are a product of our environment

The Death Scorpions have definatly made some improvements since the beginning of camp. We are having less and less two counts, and more and more participation every day. Justin is one camper who I am confident in saying has made an improvement in dealing with tough situations. For whatever reason, he never seems to want to do whatever fun fitness activity we have planned, regardless of the activity. But once we start, he ends up really enjoying himself. I think he is starting to come to this realization and is much more cooperative, even when activities dont seem fun to him.

When I first thought about the progress that these kids have made over the past weeks, my first thought is "What progress?" But Greg opened up my eyes a bit today with one of his comments. I may not see the changes, the progress, and the accomplishments these kids are making because I see them on a day to day basis. But for a teacher, who hasn't seen them all summer, all they see is a huge stride of improvement.

Besides actual progress the kids have been making, I think one of the greatest benefits of this camp for them is that they are in a structured and enriching environment, something they may otherwise not have over the summer with parents at work. It keeps them all in interaction with one another, so they don't fall more behind in interpersonal skills, as well as creating friendships with peers.

Hmmm, very interesting ...

Besides a nice tan and an assortment of arts and crafts projects I truely believe that each of these kids are taking something away from this camp, even if we cannot really see it first hand. When you're with the same people everyday it is sometimes difficult to see the little changes in their attitude and demeanor. In addition since we are only with these kids for a couple week time span it is practically impossible to see any long term changes. Regardless I think the Death Scorpions have definitely benefitted from the camp, if in no other way than being around positive role models and interacting with kids who may or may not be going through the same things as themselves. The friendships that they make at camp over the summer could prove to lend thses kids with future confidants.
Due to the fact that each child has their own challenges they will therefore take away their own individual benefits. I have glimpsed some definite moments of happiness from Wilson and a willingness and desire to share certain tidbits of information. The fact that he became somewhat more willing to share and talk about his personal life is a definite benefit. As for Jonathan I think he benefited most from the social/performing arts activities. While he always tried a sport and loved arts and crafts, even if they were not museum quality, the simple concentration and skills he took away from the social activites will definitely help him in the long run. And finally little Josh. I think his benefit from the program is much harder to see. While he still is a stickler for the rules I think he's finally starting to understand the fact that he isn't in charge and the other kids and mentors alike don't like being constantly reminded of the rules.

There's no phoning it in here

Slowly but surely the blogs are coming in. Sorry to those of you who did not get the assignment due to technical issues. We' re still waiting on three...you know who you are.

I thought it was important for all of you to spend some time considering how you and this program benefit the campers. It is not easy to see what positive things are happening when standing in the middle of the chaos, the demands, the acting out behavior, not to mention the occasional sense of inadequacy that comes when working with children. Nonetheless, you identified plenty of benefits including: exposure to positive role models, a wide variety of fun and challenging activities, a safe place to spend time, improvement in social interactions and even learning a few appropriate coping skills. I have no doubt there are many more benefits that we don't see and may not even know about until well into the future when because of something a mentor said or did, a camper makes a better choice.

I also know that these experiences for the campers did not come without a price. We all had to work hard, plan, be creative, flexible, patient and worst of all come face to face with our own inadequacies. There is no phoning it in here. If you don't do your work you will know because the campers will not tolerate less than our best. Perhaps that is why this work is so hard. They make us do our best work or pay for anything less.

In six weeks you have observed these kids experience growth in their ability to know themselves a little better, Some are getting along with each other more. Some are complying with requests on occasion and participating in activities they've never tried before. A few are more trusting and opening up about themselves. These are important achievements and should not go unrecognized. Let them know the progress you are seeing. Know the progress you are making!

I don't know what to call this...

Well, I believe that the boys in my group(Lil Weezys) are  retaining some core values and skills to get them through their lives but I also believe some of them are completely missing other key things that could prove useful. Many of these boys are getting the first hand experience of variety and coping with a certain level of institutional change in the curriculum(which could pertain to a scholastic setting or other type of institution). They are slowly getting to understand certain social norms such as a sense of togetherness and teamwork, but they are also having trouble as individuals to take the group into consideration when they make decisions. These boys have been getting comfortable with the art of practicing and re-teaching(relearning on their part). 

Tyler for instance has been given a chance to be a part of the group, when he previously served as the scape goat and outcast. Hunter is getting a more positive environment than what I believe to be his home situation. Jacob just refuses to participate but I believe that he is receiving a small sense of motivation which is what I believe seems to be lacking in his life. Josh S is a very difficult and disturbed child, which I witnessed first hand today, but I feel he is getting some positive influence from male figures. Joey seems to be getting better at asking questions because of some of our performing arts activities. Seb is a very hard kid to read as to whether or not he is enjoying himself but I think he, like Josh, is getting some positive influence from male role models. Buddy is in the same boat as Josh and Seb. I'm not sure if Nick is getting anything out of this camp nor am I sure Josiah is really benefiting because he has an attention span of about a second. Will is another one that I have trouble reading and determining his progress. But overall these kids are getting some good social skills for life, especially with dealing with girls. 

Babysteps...

Brittany is definitely benefiting from the chance to be able to release her emotions... she is used to acting indifferent and not really expressing herself...even when being "disciplined" she won't show any emotions whatsoever... but i do think that camp has allowed her to find a place to be able to talk about her feelings when she is ready to do so. Her confidence level has been increasing as well. In the beginning she would hesitate to try anything new that she was afraid to fail at...lately, however, she is willing to try new things and gets super excited when she accomplishes whatever it is she tried [ex. cotton eye joe].

Danye's main benefit, i think, is being surrounded by positive role models. By the stories she tells, the choices she makes, the things she has been exposed to at this young age, I'm pretty sure the positive role models are nonexistent at this point....

Ciara is a tough one...I know she has trouble in social situations [having conversation and making/keeping friends]...but i'm not sure if camp has benefited her to the fullest in these areas... I have noticed that her and Justin are really good friends and they go over to each others houses now... so I'm hopeful that this is a step in the right direction for her...

and Gabby...I'm not quite sure how she is benefitting from this camp... she's gone and seen a lot in her short life...but she is a strong girl with a very optimistic outlook in life... 

Benefits of Camp

I believe that camp has for the most part benefited my campers.  Of course there are some parts of camp that may not be as useful as others.  I think the older boys benefit most from the team building activities.  At their age everything seems to be a competition, and they are often arguing about everything.  When they are forced to work together to achieve a team goal, they do a terrific job.  I think the team building activities will help them be accepted by their peers, as they must learn to cooperate with all different types of people.

Also, the social skill activities are beneficial to the older boys.  Many of the boys do not know how to act in certain situations.  Also, the majority has trouble communicating with their peers.  I think they social skill activities really do benefit these kids, as it puts them in situations they will face in the real world.  

Fun fitness may be the boys favorite thing to do, however it might not be as beneficiary.  It seems to be a necessary to the camp because it allows them to blow off steam, and just play.  Some of the activities do help to build eye hand coordination and motor skills, which some kids struggle with.  The camp has benefited the older boys by building skills they will use in the real world.

Zach 

Campers Benefits!

I think that Alex has benefitted from the camp a great deal by the way she overacts about certain situations, for instance getting hurt.  I think that throughout camp she has realized that being a drama queen doesn't always have its benefits.  It can also lead to not being able to do the things she wants. 

Tessa is definitely enjoying camp!  Camp is a place for her to be herself and is an outlet from the issues she might have at home with her mom.  The camp has also allowed her to experience some new sports and new activities that she thought she was not good at, but with a little encouragement, she continues to participate everyday.  

I'm not really sure how much ShyAnne is benefitting from this camp besides maybe escaping some issues at home.  Even though ShyAnne has not opened up about her personal life, she always just seems happy and giggly about everything when she is at camp.  She is able to interact with all the kids really well and is a joy to be around.  

Hailey has definitely been able to control her anger these past weeks.  She seems to be really enjoying camp as well.  I also think that camp is an outlet for Hailey and it is also helping her in controlling the way she reacts to situations.  She does not get angry as much anymore, especially not during fun fitness. 

Law is Reason, Free from Passion?

I am neurotic aficionado of criminal television series.  And by this, I am neither referring to Judge Judy nor cops.  What I am talking about here is the hardcore, filled-with-plot-holes-but-who-cares-anyways series like CSI, Criminal Minds, Shark and the occasional Cold Case matinee.  How is this relevant you ask?  Yesterday I was watching episode #178 of CSI where an intense bodega hostage scene ensued following a dramatic montage of police cars and petrified grocery store captives.  The head cop began reasoning with the gunman over a loudspeaker, spouting lines like this (Almost exact wording, may I add):

Line #1:  "I need you to listen, nobodies going to hurt you." 

Line #2:  "This is a tough situation for you, but I need you to work with me." 

Line #3:  "You've got a choice, you can both come out together, or you can send your wife ahead of you." 

This rehearsed conversation sounded familiar.  Too familiar.  Why, I asked myself?  And then it hit me.  This cop-actor was using all of the techniques that we learned during training:  I-statements (Line #1), active listening (Line #2), and "giving choices" (Line #3).  I laughed at first, then seriously considered becoming a policeman for two seconds, and then decided to blog about this coincidence instead.  Now, in no way am I equating the Manheim campers to the deranged gunman I saw on TV, nor am I equating the mentors and myself to the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department.  I am simply trying to construct an analogy that imaginatively illustrates the intrinsic benefits that this program offers.  For instance,  while the LVPD upholds Nevadan statutes, we uphold camp rules one through five (Including bonus rule #6:  "Always have fun!").  While the LVPD is armed with guns and Kevlar bulletproof vests, we are armed with counting  and word-of-the-week activities.  In many ways, we are both arbiters of the law.  In both the real world (a.k.a the television world of CSI) and our Manheim microcosm, the laws and justice we uphold provide structure, safety and good times.  And if there is anything these kids have gotten out of this program, I would definitely point to those three benefits.  Some of these kids may go home to chaos, others may be fine.  Either way, in reasonable doses, I believe the daily routine we provide imbibes these kids with a sense of security and solidarity that will ultimately lead them to become less like the psychotic criminal on CSI and more like the LVPD, or us mentors.  For Israel, this program has provided him with a platform to practice his English and work on his self-confidence with regards to public speaking.  For Justin, this program has enabled him to express, accept and understand his true dance-loving and mercurial personality.  For me, I have learned more than can be expressed in this blog entry.  Oh, and and at the end of the episode, the gunman let all of the hostages go and everyone lived...Quite possibly happily ever after.  

Benefits

Unfortunately, Webmail has not yet returned my old messages since the switch over from a couple of days ago, so I have to go on what I remember here for the topic, which I believe has something to do with how camp benefits out campers individually.  

    First, I think camp has had a great many benefits for Hunter simply by offering him an outlet to release some energy.  He loves running around and exercising so much, and our fun fitness activities give him an opportunity to excel at something and work off some steam physically.  For Hunter, having mentors around that hear out his side of the story and offer him encouragement and attention is a big thing, as I don't think he gets much of this over Jacob at home.  He loves the spotlight, and being at camp gives him a chance to hold a little bit of it, which is always good for self-esteem.  I think having people to talk out his anger outbursts with is also beneficial because he knows his episodes aren't the right way to handle it, but he isn't verbally or physically punished for these, rather we sit him down, let him cool off, and talk to him, which is important for someone like him, who wants to make self-improvements.  

   The major benefit that camp has for Seb is that he gets to spend time around younger kids that he can have some more influence over as compared to his regular school day, where he is the smallest student and is probably picked on a lot.  He can take a sort of leadership role and gain some self-confidence around a group that is much less likely to make fun of him than the people in his grade.  He, too, gets a chance to exercise and work off some pent-up energy, and he gets an opportunity to play some acting/performing arts games, which he seems to enjoy and has a knack for. 

    I think many of these benefits overlap to other campers, and I think the most important benefit overall is just the fact that these students, who may be seen in a certain light at school, get to come together and form their own, much smaller, social circle for a couple of months that seems to be a bit more forgiving (though not all the time, as the mentors have seen).  I think this social interaction is crucial for all of the kids, and I think it has quite an impact of the kids.

It only takes one person...

Thank you all for the amazing varied points of view on this topic. I appreciate the comments on how challenging it is to really assess the resiliency of our campers and then to truly impact on that in the short time we have with them. I am glad to see how much you all thought about the issue. The current theory in the helping field is that it is resiliency that allows a child to overcome and succeed in the face of adversity. It is not an easy concept when we consider what makes a child resilient: overall health, genetics, epigenetics (if you don't know what that is, it where much of the field of genetics is moving and may explain much of how genetics works). These things in turn influence such things as temperment, ability to process and learn information in the way it is presented, ability to control impulses and emotion as well as the ability to understand the social world. Then you mix those variables with the environment which certainly impacts a child's resiliency. Those exposed to trauma, inconsistent parenting, violence, neglect and poverty are at great risk for not developing resiliency. The kids in your program deal with at least one or more of these challenges, so it is not surprising that many of you find it hard to see where they are resilient. The more negative variables they are exposed to, the greater the risk.
So where does that take us? We have six weeks to make a difference. Many of you see the progress in your campers already. Many of you are frustrated with the lack of progress. When we look at the big picture it is important to take into account the number and level of risk factor each camper has. Those with fewer risk factors will progress more smoothly and quickly. Those with more, will struggle more. Their progress will come slowly and in small doses. This is where our own resiliency must come into play. Recognize the great challenges you may be facing and decide that you will find a way to either re-adjust your expectations, try different techniques or just listen and learn. In the beginning of training we talked about how the greatest factor in determining a child's success is the presence of one person in their life who unconditionally cared for them. Deb also mentioned this in her post. I believe at the very least each of you has worked hard to provide that to your campers. You may not see the fruits of your labors because you are planting seeds now which will grow in the years to come. You are part of the process of providing these kids who are at such risk with that very important factor. It is that factor that helps children develop resiliency the most. So in the next two weeks, consider the quality of your relationship with your campers. Are you giving them adequate individual time? Do they have the message that you are there for them in good times and bad, that you will forgive mistakes while holding them accountable? When they show who they really are through acting out, picking on others, whining etc. will you continue to accept them and not distance yourself from them as so many adults in their lives do? Will you continue to respect them even when they show so little respect to themselves? If you can come close to any of those things, I wholeheartedly believe you will make a difference and some seeds of resiliency can begin to grow. Thank you all for doing such important work! Cathy

And matt L ...

Hey it'sa me. Mario.....

YESSSSSSSSSSS!!! thanks AMY i'm glad someone remembered!!!