The older girls...

oh wow..i dont even know where to start...

Danye has sooooo much going on at home...kudos to her for still being able to make it through the day...regardless of the situation at home. I definitely noticed the first week that she is a very needy child [as most of the kids are] and wants to be heard. I feel like she has been holding her emotions in for so long...that all of a sudden she is opening up to everyone she comes across with at camp.  My first impression of her was "wow she is a really happy, fun, and sweet girl and is always cooperating at camp"...I now realize that beneath this campers mask is a long deep history of pain and suffering and she is seeking the attention and comfort that she hasn't received from her family. I do wonder, however, what brings her to lie about things...like the day she told us her mother had a heart attack and she was up all night in the hospital????

Despite all of this...Danye is a great camper. She consistently seeks to bring unity to the group...it hurts her to see that the girls bicker and argue over little things...it truly bothers her and I know she wishes everyone got along at all times. She is great at cooperating and good friends with ShyAnne and now Brittany. My goal for her at the end of camp is for her to be able to take control of her emotions without having to exaggerate them nor share them with everyone. I want for her to be able to trust someone enough to realize she doesn't have to exaggerate her circumstances in order for others to care about her...

Brittany! Its hard for Brittany to express her emotions...I've noticed she doesn't cry, but I've definitely noticed, on several occasions, that she tries to hold the tears back and makes herself not cry...This concerns me because things at home aren't easy right now with her parents divorce and other stuff...and she needs to be able to cry at times to relieve herself and not bottle everything up...yet shes hard as a rock. Brittany also struggles with friends at camp. Because she struggles with friends, I've noticed that she puts up a wall to push everyone out before they get to her and hurt her. She realizes she isn't everyone's BFF at camp, so at times she initiates the exclusions before the girls exclude her. When Jen and I or the other girls confront her about issues, she won't admit to them and I wonder whether we get the message across to her sometimes. Her self esteem is quite low...She has negatives self-image perceptions and because of her rough childhood, feels like the reject both at home and school/Camp. By the end of camp I truly hope Brittany can get beyond that and realize how many people care about her. Hopefully this can help her improve on her social skills =]

Gabby...wow this girl can TALK!!!! jaja...she is truly amazing and quite mature for her age. She is the most positive girl out of the entire group. She won't tolerate negativity from any of the girls...whether its towards each other...or self criticism. She encourages the girls to be positive and speak highly of themselves. Gabby is fun and very creative. For the first two weeks of camp I would always wonder why she had been referred to this camp because I couldn't quite grasp what it was we could help her with...besides having a fun summer. Although I Gabby hasn't really opened up quite yet about any issues at home...I have a feeling there is more than meets the eye to the happy Gabby we always see at camp. From the bits and pieces I've gathered here at there...Gabby gets alot of responsibilities put on her and many times she feels like she doesn't have a voice because she has no choice but to be the "responsible one" at home...Gabby just wants to be a kid...without all the worries from home...but like I said...this is only my impression so far...

Ciara...I still don't quite understand why She is in this camp...She is quite mature and tries everything even though she knows she isn't the best at some of the activities...the only struggle I see is making friends. She is a super intelligent girl that just needs help creating friends....I honestly don't think she needs this camp because she seems to be doing just fine..She already knows everything we are gonna do...and at times acts like she knows more than the counselors...I think she will do pretty well without another year of camp.... 

p.s. I LOVE MY GIRLS!!!! =P

~Deb

Hunter and Seb

I can't remember what the exact assignment was for this week's blog, but from what I've read so far we're supposed to give an update on our kids.  Hunter goes back and forth with his behavior.  Sometimes he can be a great leader and a big help, and other times he can cause us all a headache.  He seems to be negatively influenced by Nick a bit lately, but he showed Thursday that even if Nick is being miserable all day, he can still have a good time.  He has a problem with his anger outbursts, but he knows it, and he seems willing to admit that they are wrong and he has been receptive to working on that aspect of his behavior.  In fact he is one of the only campers who has been able to give himself a "time out" on a couple of occasions to cool his head.  He's told a couple of us about some trouble he has at home with Jacob and his aunt and uncle and I think he carries that over into camp a lot, especially with regards to overreacting when someone blames him for something.  I think he tends to be the scapegoat at his home, and that might affect his sensitivity toward receiving blame for something at camp as well.  In all Hunter is doing well and, in my opinion, benefitting quite a bit.  He tells us that he is having a great time at camp quite often, and I genuinely believe that's the truth.  

Seb is a very strange young man.  He is constantly looking for attention, and he often does this by acting a lot younger than one would expect a thirteen year old to act.  He comes off as rather immature.  He has a strange fascination with dressing up (sometimes in slightly effeminate ways) and he, more so than many of the younger kids, goes out of his way to make ludicrous comments and suggestions.  For example, if one would ask him about a club choice, a likely response might be, "Ra ra," followed by his laughter and no one else's.  As I've seen from his self-evaluation and from his behavior in camp, he is very concerned about girls, which is a reminder that he is actually thirteen years old.  He really dwells on the relationships between himself and some of the female campers, and he seems to hold having a "girl friend" in the highest regard.  This has created some interesting social situations in camp, though nothing too major.  It might help Seb if we went out of our way to put him into more leadership positions, but that could also backfire on us if he's going to just wriggle around on the floor muttering "Bacon," as he's been known to do.

Halfway through!

Alex is definitely a handful sometimes.  As in the evaluation from last year, she definitely has trouble with following directions and becomes pouty when she does not get her way.  In the beginning, she had a huge cut on her foot, which she began to use everyday during fun fitness when she did not win certain games.  I began to realize that she definitely was using her foot as an excuse.  As the week went by, when she would use her foot as an excuse (e.g. capture the bacon or kickball), I would over exaggerate her foot and tell her that her foot probably hurt too much to play (which we have talked  about).  This has really worked on her and she does not get as pouty about not winning certain games.  By the end of camp, I would really like to see Alex improve on her emotions by not worrying about always getting what she wants and being able to listen to the counselors a lot better.

ShyAnne is a very vibrant girl.  She sometimes has trouble following directions and staying quiet, while the counselors are speaking, but she does not show many social issues.  She works well with the other girls and is very cooperative in all the activities that we do.  ShyAnne understands when she gets counted and stops whatever she is doing wrong once she is counted.  The only time that I have had to put her on time out was when she hit the ball with the bat and the ball almost hit one of the girls when she was not suppose to be playing.  Once she did that, you could tell that she knew what she did wrong and sat right down quietly for her time out. Besides that, I have not had much trouble with ShyAnne.

On the first day of camp, Hailey walked in with her head down and a frown on her face.  She began each day like that for the first week and did not want to participate in many activities besides fun fitness.  As the 1st wk went by, Hailey started to cooperate with the other campers a lot better.  During one of our group meetings at Longs Park, Hailey also started off the conversation with the other girls by using "I statements," which I thought was quite impressive. Also during the 2nd group meeting, she also opened up a lot more and said she had anger management problems and also had issues at home with her parents.  You can really see her moods change throughout the day and she definitely has trouble controlling her attitude towards the other campers.  She also tends to start up some issues between the girls as well. I would really like to work on her anger by having more talks with her when she gets in one of her moods and have her just talk it out because it seems like she feels a lot better once she gets it all out.  

And Finally...Tessa.  She also had a rough start to camp.  She was very shy and came to camp during the 2nd week so I think she also felt a little left out. I thought that it was really interesting how on the third day of camp for her, she started to cause a little bit of issues within the group.  She would tell me that Brittany and Alex did not like her and said that they did not want her at the camp. She would confront me about this in front of both of them, which showed that it seemed like she wanted more attention from the counselors. This soon passed and Tessa felt a lot better about camp.  Another issue that Tessa has is her idea that she is not liked because of her skin.  I thought it was really interesting that she wrote that also on her camp evaluation.  I also had a one-on-one talk with her one day and that is when she started to tell me that she did not think her parents liked her because they paid more attention to her brother.  She also mentioned that she did not enjoy her last home because of her skin color. I would really like to work on Tessa's perception of herself and help her in knowing that she is such a beautiful girl inside and out! 

When In Rome

Kevin. How can I put this in words… Clearly wants attention, regardless if it is being praised or scolded. And he will do pretty much anything if you let him. Often when he is asked why he just did that (some misbehavior), he shrugs his shoulders. Sometimes I actually believe him, and his misbehavior is simply impulsivity getting the better of him. In other situations I think he might not know what is right or wrong, but this is seldom, as Kevin is far brighter than he would lead you to believe. He conveniently had to go home the day he was supposed to have 45 minutes out of the pool. Obviously his favorite part of the camp thus far has been Shady Maple, so one would think he would be an angel that day, yet he wasn’t. He still couldn’t follow the rules. I Kevin’s main downfall is his lack of self control. He is impulsive and fails to see the consequences of his actions, even if they are only seconds in the future. Also, when he does do something wrong, a simple scold in completely ineffective. Only if you take away what is nearest and dearest to him, food and the pool, does he show sadness.
Timmy is a very good camper. Rarely do we see any problems with Timmy. Sometime it takes a while for him to participate is social or performing arts activities, but he often ends up enjoying whatever we are doing. He excels at athletics especially wiffle ball.
Seth is easily our most improved camper in terms of participation and social interaction. His problem was not misbehavior, but lack of participation in camp activities. In the first days of the camp, he barely said a word and would rather keep score than do anything else. This past week he participated in wiffle ball everyday and had that classic Seth smile with every swing of the bat. Although he still brings some safety object, such as a sponge bob coloring book or a stuffed animal, he is active and really seems to be enjoying camp everyday.

Im Ron Burgundy?

Well, I took a hard and deep look at my campers, Buddy and Tyler. Buddy started the Summer off a bit more defiant than the previous year. I talked to his mother and she had explained the step father is trying to move into a more important part of Buddy's life. However, since our discussion Buddy has changed considerably for the better. My goal for him by the end of camp will be to continue to improve his social interaction, specifically sharing with the others. 

Tyler's story could be considered in his eyes as a Greek Comedy. Truth be told, throughout the day Tyler enjoys a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Early in camp he was struggling with the social aspect of camp. He conveyed his troubles very persistently. Finally, we squashed that problem with an intervention with the entire Lil' Wheezys. Since then Tyler has flourished. However, now with this new sense of self-confidence he is starting to exclude others. What are some good techniques to use to stop his shenanigans?

God Bless America,

Matt

Camper Evaluations

Israel Moreno:  

Looking at Israel's evaluation last year, his personality corresponds starkly with what his parents, previous mentors and teachers had to say about him:  "The sunshine kid of F&M Camp," "usually gets along well with other children," "usually follows rules," etc.  However, I gleefully picked Israel as one of my campers because I felt I could relate to him culturally.  Noting in Israel's extended profile that he could "easily be mislabeled as lazy due to his struggle with language and understanding directions," I felt a significant bond materialize.  After moving back to America from Beijing, China for the 'F&M experience', I felt like a cultural pariah, a complete fish out of water - unable to laugh at US pop-culture references my friends made and always slightly disturbed by the cleanliness of Pennsylvanian air.  I thought perhaps Israel and I would be able to commiserate on our cultural awkwardness (Little did I know that this kid would be a master at evading my inquiries that delved beyond camp life).  Like any other excited counselor, I tactfully cornered Israel one-on-one during walks to the pool/the bus/field trips and politely sprinkled him with questions.  No deal.  I then tried talking about myself to get him to open up.  Even worse idea.  Then I spoke to him in Spanish - duh.  The result was a brief, yet illuminating conversation that went something like this: 

Me: "¿Hola Israel, puedes hablar Español?" 

Translation:  "Hey Israel, can you speak Spanish?" (Obviously I knew he could - It was just part of my master plan)

Izzy M:  "Si!" 

Translation: "Yes!"

Me:  "¿Hablas Español con sus padres? 

Translation: "Do you speak spanish with your parents?" 

Izzy M:  "No, hablo Inglés" 

Translation: "No, I speak English" 

And that was basically it with some superfluous stuff that I cut out.  At the time I was just excited to be practicing my spanish (Spanish 221 is coming up next semester so I need all the practice I can get) and that Israel was sharing stuff about his family with me, of course.  But after reading Israel's evaluation a second time and noting that his "parents speak only Spanish" and that last year "he was occasionally teased for not speaking English as well as the others," I understand this conversation much better.  I feel like Israel is trying to mask his hispanic heritage, which is regrettable.  Having attended international school all my life, it never occurred to me that yes, it can suck to be a minority sometimes, and yes, even little kids can be racist (not that i've seen any of that at camp).  So what I want to work on with Israel is bringing out his confidence in his own culture.  Besides that, his English doesn't sound as bad as his evaluation makes it out to be so perhaps he's improved since last year.  He also participates in sports and arts and crafts and enthusiastically and usually joins in performing arts activities.  Last year's evaluation also mentioned anger problems, but so far Israel has been relatively passive.  If he lands himself in cooking club next weekend, maybe Debbie, Fred and I will focus more on ethnic cuisine.  

Justin McEvoy:  

J-town has definitely been a tough cookie to crack.  The first two weeks he was an angel for the most part - almost frozen in weird, extended honey-moon state.  He participated maturely in all the activities and talked avidly about Godzilla flicks and his video game collection.  But nothing gold can stay...  I've noticed that Justin picks on other kids discreetly, which makes me believe that maybe he was causing drama the first week, and that I was simply oblivious to it.  Most of the other campers know not to pick on some of the more timid kids like Jonathan and Seth - but Justin hasn't really grasped this concept yet.  What's interesting is that each kid seems to have a pretty clear-cut personality (a.k.a. sweet and giggly, straight-up obnoxious, or angry yet misunderstood) but Justin seems to be more of an almagamation of many different kinds of 'clear-cut' personalities.  Definitely a good thing though because it keeps me on my feet and reminds me not to typecast campers.  I have noticed that Justin is very sensitive, especially when interacting with mentors, in that he takes getting scolded personally.  Over the next couple of weeks I plan on observing Justin acutely - so that hopefully I will be able to piece together his wide spectrum of emotions and behaviors.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Brian Lebzelter:

Has yet to show up...but I hope he does because i'm sure he's a lovely character based on his evaluation from last year! 

Thanks once again for your thoughtful postings!

Thank you for putting in the time you do with your blogs. I know it is not an easy thing to do, but I have always found that putting my thoughts in writing helps me to clarify whatever it is I am grappling with. You all have many things to grapple with as you naviagate through the remaining weeks of camp. You have chosen some very noble goals and I am hopeful that you will make progress on them. Again I see common themes: camp is more challenging now that the campers are showing you that they have many unmet needs, despite how hard you work, those unmet needs keep showing up, you are not losing sight of the challenges these kids face, but this work is hard! I think those are just a few for week 2. Isn't it nice that you have each other to count on as you all share these challenges?

You may not always be aware of how you are impacting the kids especially when you are in the midst of all their needs and demands. I know you are making a positive impact. I see it when I see how engaged and interested they are in their activities. I see it when I read their evaluations and many talk both about being happy at camp and being unhappy about being counted. They want to please you. I also see it when I see they are willing to open themselves up to you and share their lives. Never underestimate the power you have in their lives!
Cathy