Resiliency

Well, I'm not quite sure what to write here about resiliency.  For the most part, I feel like these kids appear to be fairly resilient, at least on the outside.  The kids seem to be told that they are misbehaving or they are made fun of or something like that and they seem to let it slide after just a few minutes.  Even if one of the kids is in timeout, I can't really recall any of the campers letting that affect the entire rest of the day.  I remember talking to little Josh about tattling and he hung his head and walked away, but less than a minute later he was back playing with the group.  Most of the kids don't seem to linger on any one thing for very long, but, again, that is a mostly superficial assesment.  I think it is very difficult with the time we have to make serious changes in the campers' resiliency.  Perhaps just making as much of an effort as possible to spend some more face time with the campers and active listening to problems would assist in building their ability to bounce back from something that was bothering them.  To be honest, I am really interested to read what the other mentors have to say about this and what some of their suggestions are because I am really at a loss here for ideas. 

Can't believe it's the 5th week!

Hailey and Alex definitely have some issues with resiliency.  As I mentioned before, in the beginning of camp, Alex would always use her foot as a way to get out of things when she felt discouraged about a certain sport.  In this past week, she has done a great deal of whining and crying during fun fitness. When she pretends to hurt her foot, I will usually make it sound really serious and tell her that she probably needs to sit out during fun fitness.  This always leads to Alex crying in the corner and saying things are not fair. However by taking privileges away from her (e.g. activities during performing arts or pool time), she is able to be more susceptible to being more resilient with her emotions.  She is able to recover from the whining and crying a lot faster.  She also does not do it as much because she now knows what the consequences are. She is beginning to learn that acting hurt or crying does not always get her positive reinforcements and will get back into the activity a lot quicker.

Hailey also has some issues in resiliency.  When she is angry or just not having a good day, she will show it through all her actions. It is very hard to change her moods at times.  When she is in a bad mood, she tends to cause commotion within the girls group by ridiculing the younger girls.  In addition, when she gets yelled at, that also tends to put her in a bad mood.  I think that Hailey needs to be able to learn how to bounce back from her mood changes.  I know that she always seems to feel a lot better after we have confrontations.  So maybe so one-on-one talks with Hailey might help her sort some things out and is also an outlet for her to get all her emotions out.  This might help her in controlling her anger in the future. 

I do not think that Shyanne and Tessa has many issues with resiliency.  I think that when they get yelled at or get discouraged, they are still able to bounce back from it.  Having different activities and some activities being challenging for certain kids definitely helps in developing their abilities in not always succeeding in everything. It teaches them how to accept losing, but that doesn't mean for them to just give up. They are beginning to realize that if they are more flexible in the consequences that happen or receive, they have a better time in the end. 

The War of the Lions

In the position we are in, resiliency is a characteristic that we can only see on a small scale. We will never know if camper can overcome the poverty they are surrounded by, the poor models set by older siblings or parents, or the loss of a parent. So in my opinion, this is a question none of us are going to be able to answer realistically. When it comes to being resilient in terms of dealing with the setback of playing jail-break instead of wiffle-ball, we see this quite a bit. So for this blog assignment, I will think of resiliency in terms of there ability to deal with things they do not like or do not want to do. Firstly, I should say this past week was a trying week for the death scorpions, as they were not up to trying new things. When i think about my three campers, Kevin, Seth and Timmy, their resiliency varies from task to task. Kevin is ok when starting a new activity, unless its a tag game (ghost tag, right amy?). Its moving to a new task is where he is not very resilient. cleaning up is a problem for Kevin, as he must always get that last bead placed, the last swing of the bat, or the last brush of paint on his birdhouse. Timmy and Seth are generally OK, as they each have only one area they struggle with. Every morning, I have to crush Timmy's dreams of playing wiffle-ball for the day, and if we are playing any type of tag game, Seth is in agony. I would say the death scorpions in general have much room for improvment in terms of just going with the flow of the day, no matter the activity.

Remember: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...

Ok this is kinda late but whatevs

Well, my favorite kid in the camp is Hunter. Hunter is a kid with so much potential but little direction. He has outbursts that seem over the top to spectators but to him they are justified with every flick of the hands and thrusts of his arms. I have come to see these outbursts as an intricate part of Hunter's personality and without them he would not be himself. But at the same time I fear that, if he does not learn to manage his emotions in a more positive and less disruptive way, he could end up suffering consequences that he could have just as easily avoided. Hunter is also one of those kids who complains about everything except fun fitness but ends up loving the majority of the activities afterwards. I see that Hunter wants to be strong all the time and he wants to be the one people can depend on, but he can help but lose control sometimes. I strongly believe that if Hunter really wanted to, he could take over the world, it just saddens me to think that he might not be given the opportunity or if he is he will not be taken seriously. I also am concerned that he might not be given that support he needs from his family. He has made so many efforts to better himself and I commend him whole heartedly for that. I want this kid to succeed and I truly do believe in him.

Jacob on the other hand does not show as much potential as Hunter does, because Jacob does not want to leave his area of comfort. He fears making himself look foolish or exerting himself physically or mentally. He is not accepted by his peers because he puts a barrier between himself and them. He does not want to be a team player and has absolutely no desire to to even entertain the idea. There have been times that Matt J., Drew, and I have encouraged Jacob to put his personal preferences aside in order to connect with the other campers but he refuses. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my efforts when I even talk to the kid, other times I feel like maybe today is the day he'll leave his comfort zone, but that day has yet to come. I think that if Jacob stopped ostracizing the majority he might actually stand a chance at having a social life. Until then I think he will have to remain happy with being the unpopular kid. 

Josiah is a wonderful kid, though I wonder what world he is living in because he can be the most baffling child sometimes. He is kind hearted. He treats everyone equally and always encourages people to get along. He is one of the few kids that I can count on to push his chair in at the table. He is an enigma but he's very chill and I do not know if Josiah is really being affected by this experience but I hope for the best for him.

Wow...week three!

Thank you to the seven mentors ( I know two more are on their way), for your thoughtful insights about your campers. It helps me because as I explained in our last supervision, I only get a few snap shots of what really goes on both in the program and in your relationships with your campers. Clearly you all have put some time into thinking about how your campers tick, and as is most often the case, there are no easy answers. We have acting out campers who just seem to get in their own way all the time. We have campers who are closed off and well defended even from the most kind and nurturing attempts. We have campers who hide who they are, and hide from us what goes on in their real lives. And we have campers who confuse us, make us wonder why they are in our program because on the surface they seem to function well. I hear your confusion, and your concerns and your sense of helplessness. I also hear your hope, your belief in yourselves and your sense that in some way you can make a difference in their lives. Recently in our meeting I heard your conviction to making this program a place that is "right" for these kids. They are lucky to have you advocating for what is best for them. That is not something they usually get in this world and you at the very least have given them a place where they can have fun, experience their power, and most importantly feel safe and respected.

Don't stop thinking about what is going on with them and questioning why they behave the way they do. Their behavior will teach you as long as you remain open to the possibilities that behavior works to meet needs. If we understand that they need what we all need: love, attention, control, a sense of safety and a sense of purpose, then we can begin to unravel the mystery of behavior that does not make sense on the surface. It is a simple theory, but much more complicated in its implementation. The purpose of this blog was to encourage you to think more deeply about your campers behaviors, motivations and deep unmet needs. You will continue to do this for the duration of the program and hopefully as you go into life and are challenged by the seemingly unusual behavior of others. You will always have the choice to judge and blame or to go deeper and ask what is that they really need that causes them to act this way? This question is only the beginning of a long journey, but at least it puts you on the path to understanding.

Yeah, but ...

Jonathan --> Well well what can you say about the Dr. Pepper. He's usually a very pleasant camper and willing to participate in most of the activities with the exception of some of the fun fitness actiivites. Also he has a tendancy to withdraw from activities when he feels ridiculed by other campers or that he does not quite meet up to the standards of the game. I'm very pleased to see that besides getting along with all of the counselors he has really started forming some friendships with the other campers, especially Seth. I think one of his main problems is understanding more complex activities and then staying on task. Also he often seems to seek attention, especially from the counselors often times repeating an activity (such as singing as certain song) until his actions are recognized. I think Jonathan really needs to learn to be a better sport and really work on his social skills.

Little Josh --> He sure does like his rules and to "play fair" and make sure that everyone knows those rules and plays fair as well. Also he is always full of "what if ... " question just to make sure that all bases are covered when starting an activity. This can be a little irratating to the counselors and fellow campers alike, often causing some relationship problems making it difficult for him to form any really strong friendships. Overall he seems like a very sensitive and fun kid. He just really needs to learn to become more relaxed and understand that counselors and teachers alike are in charge and will take care of enforcing the rules.

Wilson --> Wilson sure is one tough cookie. He is certainly a very physically active kid and more than willing to participate in most activities with the exception of some of the arts & crafts activities. It seems he has difiiculty expressing himself when given free range during arts activites. Otherwise he is usually pretty quiet but has really started branching out and making friends. However this usually involves troublemaking of some sort, he has a tendancy to follow others who are causing mayhem, such as Kevin or Seb. Unlike the others though he usually stops an activity when asked. I've had a couple break-through moments with Wilson and think that he really just need a safe environment and positive reinforcement, also it seems that he does much better when kept busy and challenged.

Cody --> This young fella is still a no show but I really hope he comes up because I'm sure I speak for the others when I say that I would really like to work with him.

WWOOOO DEATH SCORPIONS!!!!

Joey, Will, and Josh S.

My three campers have been a joy to work with in camp.  I have gotten to know all three campers well, and they all have different talents.  Joey is consistently one of the best behaved campers.  He is usually willing to participate in all the activities.  There is a couple things that Joey struggles with.  He often doesn't think before he speaks, thus he is constantly stuttering.  Also, Joey tends to follow some of the boys.  He will sometimes find himself in trouble because he will join in on the bad behavior of the group.

     Working with Will has been a roller coaster ride thus far.  Some days Will is the best behaved child in camp, others he is extremely difficult to work with.  I am not quite certain what causes the change in behavior.  Will has trouble dealing with the day when things do not go his way.  Instead of trying to find a solution for his problems, Will whines when things do not go they way he wants them to.  

Like Will, Josh's behavior varies from day to day.  In working with Josh it is obvious to see that he is an attention seeker.  Josh tries to get attention from both the mentors and the campers.  Josh also has trouble when he things do not go his way.  He gets frustrated easily, and gets extremely argumentative.  I think a lot of Josh's problems stem from his father not being around.  He has brought up that he never really sees his father, and that the only time he is happy is when he is with his Dad.

While my campers can be difficult at times, they are all a joy to work with.  Watching them make progress is amazing.  I am sure that all three will continue to make strides through the rest of camp.

Zach